Black Swan
by CaffinH
Summary: Loki's punishment was to have his powers removed and be sent to Earth to live with Thor and the other Avengers. As time goes on he starts to get to know the troubled Natasha Romanoff and soon a romance begins to unfold. When the Chitauri return, who will lose the most? I suck at summaries - BlackFrost, brief ClintxTasha. Complete.
1. Past and Present

Chapter One

I sit upright in bed, my hand darting underneath my pillow and pulling out my gun. I am breathing hard and my body is damp with sweat. As reality returns to me I realize my gun is perfectly aimed at - nothing. There's nothing there. Nothing or no one.

I groan as I throw myself back onto the bed, hard, gun still in hand. Glancing at the clock I sigh, realizing that it's 2am. I've been asleep less than two hours, but there's no way I'll get back to sleep now. As my lazy joints complain, I sit up and stretch.

2am is actually a good time at Stark tower. All the other Avengers – even the ones who stay up late – have gone to bed, but it's a while before even the early birds get up. It's quiet, and I love it.

Not bothering to get dressed out of the shorts and vest top I wear to bed – I'm not going to run into anyone at this hour – I leave my room and walk towards the gym. My bare feet slap against the marble floor, and I find the noise comforting. It's like I'm not alone, like someone other than my shadow is walking beside me.

I spend hours in the gym – fair play to Tony, this is The best gym to train in. After a warm up, I run a few laps, do some weights, climb some ropes and punch the bag. I don't spend as much time on it as I would during the day – these are things I don't mind practicing in front of my fellow Avengers. But at night, I do something that the group of boys would never stop laughing at me for if they knew. I dance.

Glancing around, I make sure that no one's watching before pressing play on my iPod. The soundtrack for Swan Lake plays quietly and I begin to dance. This brings more of a sweat than any of my regular exercising does because mentally, it's hard.

You see, before I was in the Avengers, when I was part of the Black Widow program, I was brainwashed into thinking that my past was not my past. The fake history they gave me told me that I was once a ballerina – a good one. Of course, to make sure I was completely brainwashed, I was given the skills to be a successful ballet dancer, and I'm not going to give up those skills in a hurry.

I've since learnt that it was not true, I was never a ballerina, successful or otherwise. But I can still recall the feeling of flying I felt when I was dancing to the Nutcracker, or to Swan Lake – my favorite. It's hard to regain that feeling when keeping in mind that my inspiration comes from a fake memory.

The song finish and suddenly, I am exhausted. It's 4.26 am and, sighing, I drag myself back to my room and sink into bed. I'm asleep in seconds, forgetting completely that I left my iPod, still playing the intro of Swan Lake on repeat in the gym.


	2. Loki and Beautiful Music

Chapter Two

I wake up later that same day at around 9am. I quickly jump out of bed and dress in some casual clothing – jeans and a white tank top – and brush my hair, not bothering to do much with it as it's just growing wild at the minute - _I really need to get it_ _cut, I think_ - and then I open the curtains.

As strange as it sounds, opening my bedroom curtains is one of my favorite things to do every day. My room is pretty basic – white carpet, white walls, double bed against the left wall as you walk in, a chest of drawers opposite with a television on top (thought I don't watch much TV), a wardrobe in the left corner and a bookshelf with a few books and my laptop stacked neatly on it between my wardrobe and the door. My entire wall opposite the door is a window. I have big, heavy white curtains to go across it – the only thing in this room other than my books and my laptop and my clothes that I got myself. All the bedrooms look the same as mine, except the others have decorated theirs and painted them and re-carpeted ect. I quite liked it plain as it was. The only thing I didn't like was the automatic blinds across the window, connected to J.A.R.V.I.S, Tony's very clever but unnecessary in this case computer system so that when I say open, the blinds open, and when I say close, they close. Fun for some people, but I love opening the curtains in the morning to see Manhatten spread below me, and to be able to close out the world every night is something that means a lot more to me than most people would understand.

I throw on a pair of plain black boots and tucking my gun into the back of my jeans – I never leave without it – and I walk towards the kitchen. I hope no one says anything about me being up late.

"Hey Nat!" Clint waves at me and I smile back as I walk to the kitchen and start digging in the cupboards for a breakfast bar. If someone's eaten them all, I swear to god I'm going to shoot someone. I glance at Thor and wonder if I should be swearing to Thor or his dad, whatever his name is. Finding a cranberry breakfast bar right at the back of the cupboard I decide I'm in a pleasant enough mood to deal with mr-good-and-moral today and I sit next to Steve, who for once is not wearing anything star-spangled.

"Where's that Snape-shaped brother of yours?" Tony struts into the room, speaking to Thor.

"Snape?" Thor asks, looking confused.

"From Harry Potter?" Tony looks at him with an expression of what can only be described as pure amazement. "You have a lot to catch up on if you're staying here…"

"To answer your question, Loki resides in his room." Thor dismisses Tony's remark.

I'd almost forgotten about the other God here.

As punishment for his crimes, Loki had been sent back to Earth with a more-than-happy-to-oblige Thor as his guard. Of course, Thor was pleased as he was now free to see his 'lady' whenever he liked – which was most of the time. Loki, of course, was not pleased to be back in the realm he had come so close to ruling, and spent most of his time hiding in his room, which was miniscule in comparison to ours and had 5 different locks on the outside. We hadn't really seen him much since he'd been here. To me it seemed he was just making things worse for himself. There was nothing to stop him living a perfectly normal human life, if he would just stop moping for five minutes. Steve felt he deserved his punishment, as did Clint. For one with such a sharp eye, Clint could be blind when he wanted to be. Yes, Loki had done some bad things, but so had everyone else here. So had I. Prison doesn't end the life of a common criminal, and earth – which must look to Loki as a 'super-prison' of sorts – shouldn't end the life of a super-criminal.

I finish my breakfast bar and decide to go find something to do, so I say goodbye to everyone and walk quickly through the hallways, so wrapped up in my thoughts of the God of mischief that I didn't notice he was directly in front of me until I walked straight into him.

"Sorry-" I begin, and then seeing it was Loki, I stopped in surprise. It was strange to see him out of his room…well; it was strange to see him at all. "Sorry" I repeated and started to walk past him, but I stop when he places his hand on my shoulder.

"Agent Romanoff" He says silkily "I believe I have something of yours." In his long fingers he holds my iPod. I begin to get annoyed at him for taking it, and then I remember leaving it in the gym last night.

"Thank you." I say, holding my hand out for it, but Loki doesn't move. He just looks at me.

"I like the song." He tells me, looking straight at me.

"I do too." I reply, trying to keep the surprise out of my face. Loki likes music? I never would have guessed. I glance from his face, to my iPod, to my hand and back at him. He takes the hint and after a pause, slowly places the iPod in my hand. I nod my thanks and start to walk away.

"It's beautiful." He calls after me. I turn, in surprise. He's still looking at me. "The song."

He walks away, leaving me standing there, suddenly nervous, though I don't know why.


	3. Nightmares and Embarrassment

Chapter Three

Its 3.06 am.

Once again I find myself in the gym. I am on my 207th pull-up and I'm sweating hard. Tonight's nightmare was a bad one. I dreamt that I was dancing on stage to Swan Lake. I was the white swan and suddenly the music stops, but I can't stop dancing. I shout to the audience for help and find it almost empty apart from a few people who, at closer inspection, I realize are members of the avengers. They watch in apathy as I am forced to dance to no music and at the point of the dance where the villain Rothbart appears to force the princess to once again transform into a swan, Loki walks on stage and laughs as I slowly transform – not into a swan, but a spider.

I shake the image of Loki laughing from my mind. I've never had a dream – good or bad – about Loki before. It must be the odd moment we shared yesterday. It's strange, how I've done so much in my life, but the simple act of returning my iPod can shake me up like this.

I get to 300 pull ups and then I stop. But I am not tired. I feel afraid of dancing tonight, and in some ways I don't want to dance. But because I'm afraid I feel that I must. I know my fear is unnecessary – it was just a dream. Even if Loki were here he can't turn me into a giant spider, or swan or anything else. I don't think he had that power even before his father took them away from him and sent him to earth.

So, turning my iPod on, mind briefly wandering to the strange feeling of Loki's fingers brushing mine as he handed it to me, I begin to dance. And for the first time in a long time, it's not merely an exercise, its fun. And I'm enjoying myself.

That is until I fall flat on my face.

"Very graceful, Agent Romanoff"

I jump about five meters into the air, spinning around quickly and drawing my gun from inside my pyjama shorts, aiming perfectly at – Loki?

"What are you doing here?" I snap, still aiming the gun at him. The smirk that traced his lips vanishes slightly as he glances at the gun. I don't understand – does he actually think I'll shoot him? – and then I realize that this is the first time Loki has ever been faced with a weapon with no way to defend himself. I slowly lower my gun and it's hard to miss the look of relief in his eyes.

"What are you doing here?" I repeat my question. Loki looks directly at me, and answers in a very casual tone.

"I often walk around at night." He tells me "that's how I found your music device yesterday. I usually stay around the eating area, but yesterday I followed the music here. After returning it to you yesterday, I decided to come back tonight to see if you would return, and you did."

I am surprised for many reasons. Firstly, I didn't realize Loki ever left his room, and I'd always assumed I was the only one wandering Stark Tower at this hour. Secondly, this is possibly the most I've ever heard him talk since that 'interview' when the avengers had him locked in Bruce's cage.

"I assumed you just came here to exercise." Loki continues "I glanced in and saw you were already here, and I was about to leave when you put the music back on again. I saw you dance." His smirk returns "I saw you fall ever-so-gracefully on your face."

I feel myself blush and suddenly I am angry.

"For your information, there's only so much one can do without the correct shoes!" I tell him angrily. No one embarrasses me and gets away with it. "Which I do not own because I never get five minutes to myself in this place to go out and buy them. And under no circumstances must anyone find out about this, do you understand?!"

Loki's smirk has once again disappeared. He nods slowly, his face void of all emotion. I collect my belongings from the corner and I leave, walking briskly away, leaving Loki alone in the dark.

_A/N hi guys sorry for the wait. Good news is that updating should be a bit more regular over the next few weeks, but the bad news is that due to my dear education, I will be unable to update as often once September starts, although I plan to put up at least one chapter a fortnight as I'm also writing another story (hunger games, if anyone's interested) which I will also be updating fortnightly._

_The reason this story is taking so long is because I needed to do a lot of research over the past few weeks to make it as realistic as possible, and I decided that I should change my original story line in order to make it less like the film (as it's been hinted that the idea I had for this story is very similar to the possible plot of the Avengers 2, and I didn't think that would reflect well on this story). I hope you guys are enjoying, reviews and suggestions and constructive criticism are always welcome_

_Thanks for reading – CaffinH 3_


	4. Girl thought's and Guilt

Chapter Four

The next morning, I wake up feeling conflicted. I am embarrassed for falling over to begin with, humiliated that Loki saw me and guilty that I snapped at him because of the earlier mentioned embarrassment and humiliation.

On the other hand, I think it's a good thing that I did snap. I didn't realise until now how angry I am that I never get any time to myself in this place. It wouldn't be too bad except the avengers seem to forget that I am female. If I ever do anything remotely feminine, I get laughed at and teased. It makes me look weak to them and there's nothing in this world I hate more than looking weak.

I consider spending time with Pepper, Tony's girlfriend. She doesn't spend much time here on the Avengers floor, she and Tony have a floor to themselves higher up, and she spends a lot of time working. When she is here though, we get along quite well. We could become good friends...if I asked. How do I ask such a thing?

I scoff. Me, Natasha Romanoff, Black Widow, Secret Agent, who has killed countless men and women, who saved the world less than a year ago, is scared of asking a woman if they can spend more time together so that she isn't constantly surrounded by men.

Not that there's anything wrong with the boys. I really do enjoy spending time with them. Clint is my best friend, and has been for a long time. But I still need some girl time.

If I ever pluck up the guts to ask.

Regardless of the possibility of Pepper and I ever becoming friends, I wouldn't buy the shoes. To buy something just so I can dance when no one's looking seems a little too indulgent and pointless to me. I still wish I could have them though, and there's no harm in wishing.

I decide to go and see Clint. Today, I will not spend my time musing on whether to make new friends, but I'll go and see an old friend instead.

Clint is very pleased to see me.

"Hey Tash" he grins as I knock on his door. I roll my eyes. I hate the nickname he's forced upon me, but he's the only one who can get away with using it. I'll kick anyone else's ass (as I proved once when Tony wouldn't stop teasing me).

"Hey Clint" I reply. His room is all shades of blue, which is nice. Brings out the slight shade of blue in his eyes which are usually a dull grey unless he's wearing blue. My mind flashes to another's eyes, a brilliant shade of green but I dismiss it immediately. Time to distract myself.

He's is in the middle of watching a film, so I watch the end with him, kicking off my boots and sitting on his bed. Once the film is finished, Clint – who is sitting beside me – turns and looks at me.

"You look tired, Tash." He tells me. I know I do – that's what happens when you spend the majority of your nights waking up at 3am and exercising in the gym. I don't answer him, it wasn't a question.

"I'm worried about you." He tells me, and I frown. "We all are."

"Why?" I ask, my frown still plastered on my face "There's no need to worry about me Clint, I'm fine."

"Don't lie to me" He tells me. He could always tell when I was lying. "You're exhausted, we can all see that. Why aren't you sleeping?"

I scowl, hating the idea that people have been discussing me behind my back. The tips of my ears burn.

"I am sleeping, Clint" I tell him "I've just been up late the past few nights." This is technically the truth, so Clint doesn't pick up on it. He just pulls a face and lies back.

"C'mon." I tell him. I'm annoyed and embarrassed that he's been discussing me behind my back and I don't want to be alone with him when I'm in this kind of mood. "It's lunch time."

We run into Thor on the way. He doesn't dress in his Asgardian clothes any more, though he did for a while until his girlfriend complained. He visits her as much as he can, and that time has been increasing the longer he's been on Earth. He is more than happy to stay on Earth as long as this is where he lady resides – his words, not mine. I think her name is Jade or Jane or something like that – though Thor talks about her a lot, he mainly refers to her as 'My lady'. I'm sure she finds it romantic – I would find it annoying, I think.

Anyway, Jade or Jane or something, lives in New Mexico at the minute, so we haven't met her yet, but Thor flies there over the weekend. Sometimes he goes to Asguard – since they have the Tesseract they have no trouble transporting Thor back and forth. Occasionally, Loki will go with him, and will return looking miserable. I'm sure he misses the place, but it can't be that wonderful. If only he would get out more when he was here, maybe he wouldn't be so sad to return here after visiting his parents.

Steve and Tony are already in the dining room and Bruce joins us shortly after we sit down to eat. The conversation is happy and light hearted and after food, we don't go back to our separate rooms, we sit on the round sofa next to the dining area and continue talking. Thor stands by the window laughing at a story Steve is telling us about when he was a child - Thor finds it very interesting to hear about how different Steve's childhood was in comparison to ours, he's become very interested in Earth's history since his arrival – when Loki walks in. The room goes momentarily quiet before Tony makes an inappropriate comment about Clint's tight jeans and everyone start's laughing and talking again. Except me that is.

I watch Loki walk over to Thor and whisper something in his ear, and I take advantage of him being momentarily distracted to really look at him. He's wearing jeans and a dark blue shirt and it suits him. In his asgardian clothes, Loki appears quite small and skinny, but in his shirt, with his sleeves rolled up to just above his elbows I can see that there's a lot more to Loki than I thought. Almost as if he can read my mind, he suddenly looks at me and I blush deeply, turning and pretending to laugh at something Clint just said which I didn't hear. I glance back up at him again and see that he and Thor are leaving the room, but Loki's dark eyes are still fixed on me. He looks uncertain and embarrassed and I wonder why. Maybe he can read minds? No, surely if he had that power, his father would have taken it away from him. I blush even deeper at the thought of Loki hearing what I just thought about him, and I remind myself to ask Thor about it later.

I wonder why he seemed embarrassed. I'm usually quite good at reading emotions, so there's little doubt that I am wrong. Maybe it's because I shouted at him yesterday. I feel a twinge of guilt deep in my stomach.

"Tash?" Clint is looking at me strangely, and I realise that I've been staring after Loki and Thor for the past ten minutes or so.

"Sorry Clint" I tell him "I gotta go."

He looks as though he's about to ask me more questions, but I leave before he can. I need to apologise. I can't stand feeling this guilt, let's just get it over with.

_A/N Hope people aren't too OOC...I'm not great with romance stories, so any idea's for future Natasha/Loki romance is welcome! :L_

_CaffinH_


	5. Drawings and Letters

Chapter Five

Let's just get it over with.

I find Loki's room and stand outside nervously. Loki's room is easy to identify, even if I didn't know where it was. It's the only room with a lock on the outside.

I can't quite bring myself to knock.

"Don't be so stupid, Natasha." I think to myself "If he's in there he probably knows you're here. Just get it over and done with."

Taking a deep breath, I knock on the wooden door lightly. There's no answer, so after a few seconds I knock again, louder. Still no answer.

Is he ignoring me? I won't allow that if that's his issue, so I open the door slowly, just a little.

The first thing I notice is that he's not there. The second thing I notice is how plain the room is, just like mine. All Loki has is a single bed up against the window wall, a wardrobe and a desk, which I walk slowly over too. This is intruding, I shouldn't be here, but I can't help myself. On the desk is a few pieces of paper with beautiful drawings on them, of buildings of gold and castles that sparkle in the light of a sun and many moons. Was this Asgard?

I was suddenly overcome with the knowledge that I shouldn't be here and how angry I was yesterday when Loki saw something that I didn't want people to see. I decide to leave Loki a note to apologise, so taking a small piece of blank paper, I quickly scribble a few words.

I don't want Loki to know I've been in here, so I decide to slide the paper under his door. I spare one last glance at Loki's drawings and I leave the room, closing the door silently and turning around only to once again run straight into the god of mischief himself. He stands in front of me, his hair looking messy, as though he's been running his fingers through it, with a black laptop under his arm.

I blush. How much did he see?

"Agent Romanoff?" Loki looks at me, his face blank of any tell tale signs that he saw me just leaving his room.

"erm...hi" I tell him and then kick myself mentally for acting so nervously. I should never have gone in there.

"Can I help you with something?" He asks, looking questioningly down at the folded piece of paper in my slightly shaking hands.

"Well...I...umm..." I start. Ahh, screw this. "Here." I tell him, forcing the note into his hands and I walk briskly away. I can feel him staring at me, so I wait until I turn the corner, before turning around and peaking around the corner at him. I groan inwardly as I do. I, the black widow, am peaking?! What am I, a small child? But I have to see.

Loki looks down at the note with a look of surprise on his face. He definitely doesn't know I'm still watching. His long fingers open the note slowly and in my mind I can see the words I wrote on it in my elegant but rushed handwriting.

_I'm sorry for yesterday  
~ Natasha_

He stares at the note for a long time and then I'm forced to duck quickly as he looks up at where I just left. I hear his bedroom door close and I let out a breath I didn't realise I'd been holding. I turn and walk briskly towards my room, just at the end of the corridor and throw myself down on the bed, my heart beating fast.

What is wrong with me?!

_A/N Hey guys, sorry for the shortness of the chapter This chapter and chapter four were going to be one chapter, but when Chapter four ended up so long, I thought I'd cut it in half. Anyway, I hope you guys like the story so far, looking forward to hearing from you guys – constructive criticism, idea's and comments are all welcome!_

_CaffinH_


	6. Headache's and Clint

Chapter Six

Last night, when I woke from my nightmare, I didn't go to the gym. I didn't want to risk running into Loki after handing him my letter earlier that day. Instead I lie in bed tossing and turning until the blankets tangle themselves around my legs and I almost shout out in frustration, stopping myself just in time. Bruce's bedroom is next to mine and Clint on the other side. I sigh. Wherever I am I'm surrounded by men.

The layout of our floor on Stark tower is simple. Basically, the higher we are the more circular the floor. Tony and Pepper live on the top two floors. It's essentially a house inside a building. From what Bruce has told me, they even have a garden up there – nothing to extravagant for Tony. I've never been up there myself, though we've been told we're welcome. Besides, if he's not working Tony spends most of his time here.

Anyway, being the third from the top, our floor is almost perfectly circular. Right in the middle we have the gym. It's a massive circle, designed for simple gym things with exercise machines and climbing ropes and room to run laps, but also with a climbing wall and room in the centre to use Tony's specially designed helmets that allows you to simulate experiences such as battle, or shooting practice etc – although Tony does like to joke that you can simulate other 'experiences' too. I'm not sure if he's joking or not.

Around two thirds of the outer circle around the gym are the bedrooms. There's one for each of us. From left to right, we sleep in this order: Steve, Clint, Me, Bruce, Thor and Loki. Our rooms are all around the same size – thought Loki's is the smallest– and we all have an en-suite bathroom.

Taking up the last third of the outer circle at the front of the building is the living room. This includes a small-ish kitchen – which though is small has literally everything you will ever need to cook anything in it – a dining area, a seating area in the middle with some bookshelves to the left side and on the right side some sofa's and a television. Every now and again some or all of us will crowd into the TV area to watch a film or documentary or to take assignments from Frost. I personally rarely watch the television in my room, while Clint watches films in his room whenever he's not practicing.

We don't often get assignments from Frost. I personally have only had three, which were all about a week's job. One involved going to New York to research a project that a science facility is doing on the re-growing of limbs, to make sure that there was no chance of them accidently creating some kind of virus or weapon. From what I saw, there was very little risk, but I have to return every so often to make sure there are no new developments. Bruce is going to come with me next time – after all, he's the scientist.

We don't get paid for this work, but that's no issue because each of us is paid monthly just for being a member, even if we haven't done any work that month. Sometime's when I'm in a bad mood and I'm ranting to Clint about it, I'll refer to it as pocket money.

I wonder if Loki get's pocket money? I doubt it, he's not a member of the Avenger's, he's more of a self-imprisoned prisoner. Well, I say self-imprisoned...would he be allowed to leave if he tried? I know his father sent him here to be human, but Frost has hinted a few times that Loki is to be guarded at all times. Which, by staying here, he is.

Just like me.

'_Don't be so silly Natasha'_ I scold myself inwardly for thinking such things. I'm not a prisoner – in fact, I love it here. But lately these nightmares have been bothering me more than usual and it's hard not to lash out.

Once again my thoughts return to Loki, and how I lashed out at him the night before in my embarrassment. I wonder if he accepted my apology. I haven't seen him since, but that might be my fault. After handing him the note, I stayed in my room for a while until dinner, and then I spent most of the evening watching a world war 2 documentary with Steve and Clint. Steve found some of the things they said about the war hilarious, and other times he would watch these documentaries and his blue eyes would shine with the ghost of all the people who died then and all the people he left behind. Its times like these that I pity Steve. He's a good guy – in fact, he's the ultimate good guy. Always moral, always doing the right thing. I don't know why Clint was there, he has little to no interest in wars of the past – he only cares about wars in the future. I was there because I didn't want to be alone and give Loki opportunity to come find me.

I get out of bed and open the curtains slightly to find that outside is a strange white colour, before the sun has started to rise but its getting light. I open my curtains and lay on my bed with the intention of watching the sun rise, but before I know it I blink and its 1pm.

One in the afternoon? I sit up and a pain in my head assaults me. I never get headaches – it's probably just a result of sleeping for so long after not sleeping a full night in months. I consider taking painkillers but decide against it. I don't like to take painkillers.

I shower and dress quickly, taking my time while drying my hair. Again I think that I should get it cut, but I can't be bothered today. As usual I just leave it to do what it will – which is curl loosely down my back. I'm wearing a red shirt and simple jeans and my boots. I realise that though it is almost two in the afternoon and I have not eaten since six o clock last night that I am not hungry. None the less, there's nothing else to do so I walk briskly to the kitchen. Clint and Tony are sitting at the dining table and Clint practically jumps up from his seat when I walk in.

"Did I surprise you?" I ask, raising an eyebrow, feeling self-conscious. Even Tony looks a little amused by his reaction.

"Where have you been?" He asks, walking over to me.

"In my room." I reply, frowning, though I don't stop what I'm doing. "Where else would I be?"

"Tash, don't lie to me." Clint says, trying to stand in the way of the fridge, so I simply duck around him and proceed to collect the ingredients I want.

"Clint, I'm not lying." I tell him. I won't look him in the eye, he's behaving stupidly but I'm sure he'd be offended if he realised what I was thinking. I can't help but glance momentarily at Loki's door, just barely in sight of the kitchen if I stretch over the counter, which is what I'm doing now to grab the bread from the bread bin. I'm wondering if he's in there – where else would he be? – when a pair of rough hands swing me around and push me up against the counter.

"Will you please look at me!" Clint yells. I try to push him away but in my surprise I find that the sleeve of my shirt on my right arm which is mostly free has caught in my belt and I can't get it loose. This is why I wear tight cloths to fight.

"Clint, what are you doing?" I breath. If I act calmly maybe he will too. I don't want to fight him. Out of the corner of my eye I see Tony walk over, trying to look calm too, but walking a little too quickly.

"Where were you Tash?" He asks again. His hand is hurting my left arm and my right shoulder where he is apparently trying to squeeze the answer out of me.

"I told you, I was in my room." I tell him, still struggling to get my right arm free. Tony tries to say something, his hand on Clint's arm, but he's interrupted.

"No you weren't" he tells me. I snap.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I seem to be mistaken." I reply sarcastically "thank you for informing me of my own whereabouts." I see something flash in his eyes. I shouldn't have said that. He squeezes me tighter – that's going to bruise tomorrow.

"I knocked on your door and there was no answer." Clint tells me "I know when you're lying Tash, you're always the first one awake, and you always answer if someone knocks. I knocked three times, and there was no answer so where were you?!"

"Clint!" Tony shouts at him and finally succeeds in pulling him off me. Clint turns as if to yell at him but Tony stands his ground and stares him down and after assessing the situation, Clint seems to retreat a little.

"I was asleep." I tell him. I'm standing almost of the other side of the room, moving quicker than I realised I could. "I was tired and I slept in. I'm sorry, it won't happen again." I say to him sarcastically. I see a flash of guilt in his eyes and his lips start to form the words sorry, but I turn and leave before he get's chance, glancing back quickly to see Tony start to tell Clint off. I don't stop, but as I walk past Loki's door I hear the clear click of a door closing. I stop in surprise – he must have seen the entire thing – but then my arm gives a twinge of pain and I decide to go and check my bruises rather than ask him about it.

I am surprised to find that even with what happened, it isn't Clint that I think about all day.

_A/N Hope you all liked it __ I have one reviewer who suggested that I should make my chapters longer – Thank you for your review and I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to try and do as you requested :D_

_R&R! 3_

_CaffinH_


	7. Bruises and Books

Chapter Seven

I can't believe Clint did that to me. It's been just over an hour and I've unbuttoned my shirt and pulled it over my arms so I can assess the damage in the bathroom mirror. On my right shoulder and left arm, just above my elbow are 5 matching bruises. They're purple and look...angry. That's the only word I can use to describe them.

Suddenly I am angry. How dare he hurt me? He's supposed to be my friend. I blush with embarrassment at the fact that I couldn't beat him off myself that Tony had to help me. Yet again I look like a silly, insignificant little girl. Angrily I pick up hairbrush off the sink and walk through into my bedroom brushing my hair furiously until I get frustrated and throw the brush across the room. I wish I could go to the gym and have a go on the punch bags, but I don't want to run into Clint.

But why should he make me feel like I can't leave my room? Who cares what he thinks. If he sees me in the gym kicking the punch bag, good. Maybe it'll scare him into never touching me again. In firm determination I pick up my gym clothes, planning to get changed, but my arms hurt so I sigh in irritability and put them back down on the bed.

There's a knock at my door. Probably Clint coming to apologise. Right now I hate the fact that our rooms are right next to each other.

"Go Away!" I shout at the door. I hope he understands how angry I am. I wait to hear him knock again or shout through the door or even just barge in – to do something Clint-like – but he doesn't. There's silence.

There's a twinge in my stomach as I realise maybe it wasn't Clint. I dash to the door and open it to see a tall, dark haired man walking slowly away.

"Loki?" I call and he turns around quickly. He dressed quite handsomely in a gray tshirt and jeans and trainers. I've never seen him look so casual. He looks at me and after a pause walks slowly towards me. I stand in my doorway, holding the door open.

"Did you just knock?" I ask him. He nods. "Why?" I ask bluntly. I'm usually blunt when I'm surprised.

"I saw what happened with Agent Barton." He tells me and I purse my lips. "I came to see if you were okay, but you shouted at me to leave."

"I thought you were Clint." I explain. He looks relived.

"I thought you were angry at me for spying again" He tells me. I shake my head, causing my red waves to bounce around my neck.

"I'm not angry with you." I tell him and he smiles awkwardly.

"Okay then." He tells me. "I'll take my leave then, Agent Romanoff."

"Loki" I stop him leaving. I'm not sure what possessed me to do it. Perhaps the look of loneliness on his face. Perhaps because I'm a bit lonely too now that my best friend has upset me so much. I don't think it matters why, but I did. "Do you want to come in?"

He stares at me blankly for a second, and I wonder if I said something wrong. But he nods and I step aside to let him in, and close the door behind him. I watch his expression as he looks around my room – the plainness of it, the curtains, the few possessions, my gym clothes on the bed. Blushing, I walk over to the bed and quickly shove the gym clothes under the cover so he won't think I'm untidy. Not that it matters what he thinks, of course.

When I turn back to him he's looking at me and suddenly he blushes and turns away to look at my bookshelf. Confused, I look down and gasp, realising that most of the buttons on my shirt are still undone from when I was examining my bruises earlier. I blush a deeper red than my shirt – my face must blend into my hair at the minute – and I turn around and quickly do up my buttons. I've barely spoken to this man – god, super-villain, criminal, whatever he is – before and now he's seen a fair amount of my chest and my lacy white bra.

_'Oh well' _I think, fumbling with the last button _'at least if he had to see me in my bra, I was wearing a pretty one.'_ And I blush again, for very different reasons.

"You have a very interesting collection of literature, Agent Romanoff." Loki tells me, his back still turned. I am both surprised and thankful for his decency to turn around – I'm sure Clint or Tony wouldn't have in that situation – well, Tony would have definitely turned around when Pepper slapped him. I stand beside him and smile.

"You like reading?" I ask and he half-smiles at me.

"Yes." He tells me "I used to read a lot on Asguard. I read whatever Thor decides he doesn't want any more now, though his taste in books is quite different to mine."

"Why?" I ask, curious to hear about Asguardian literature "What do you two read?"

"Thor prefers tales of our ancestors" Loki tells me, eloquently, looking down at me. He seems to be surprised that I am taking an interest. "Or stories of great battles. Here he reads a lot about the world wars Earth had and such things. I've read most of them, and though I find them interesting they are not what would have been my first choice."

"Huh." I say "If you like the world wars, you should have watched that documentary with us yesterday."

He looks at me and blushes slightly.

"I was listening to it." He tells me, and I glance at him in surprise. "I don't think Agent Barton or Agent Rogers would have liked me to be there."

"I'm sure Steve wouldn't have minded." I tell him "Clint on the other hand...he's not very forgiving."

"Why are you so forgiving?" He asks me seriously, and I run my fingers over some of the books on my shelf, pretending to examine them in detail so I won't have to look at him.

"The way I see it is everyone has done things they regret." I reply "As long as you regret them and work to atone for them, I don't see why you shouldn't be forgiven." Loki is silent for a long time.

"Thank you." He says clearly, but quietly. I smile quickly at him.

"So you mentioned world war books aren't your first choice." I change the subject, sitting down on the chair next to my desk and patting the bed, gesturing for him to sit down. Slowly and awkwardly he does. "What would be your first choice?"

"On Asguard there are many books about our...you call them Police men I believe?" He asks and I nod "We call them protectors. I enjoy reading about the work they do."

"You mean like Crime books?" I ask and he looks slightly confused.

"I guess so" He tells me. I smile at him and bounce towards my bookshelf, picking up a copy of Sherlock Holmes.

"This is about a detective" I tell him, sitting beside him on the bed. I notice his confused expression. "A detective is a very important police man who uses clues to find out who did a crime – something wrong, like murder or stealing." Loki looks at the book in interest, his eyes lighting up when I hand it to him.

"I can lend this?" He asks. I nod, smiling. He takes the book from me, his long fingers brushing mine slightly as he does sending shots of electricity up my arm. I briefly wonder if my hair is standing on end, before shaking my head and trying to stop myself blushing. Loki is looking at me curiously, a small smile playing on his lips. His amazingly soft looking lips...

_ "Natasha Romanoff, Get your head out of the gutter!" _I shout at myself inwardly.

"I should be going." Loki tells me, standing. "Thor will be looking for me, it's around time for me to have food."

"Now?" I ask, looking at the clock on my bedside table. It's 4pm, we don't usually have dinner until 6/7ish. Loki nods and I understand that he still doesn't think he'll be accepted at our dinner table. I make a vow to change that.

"Okay." I smile at him, standing "Enjoy the book, okay?" I tell him. He smiles at me. He suddenly, but slowly reaches for my arm and I let him pull up my sleeve to see the bruises just above my elbow. His mouth becomes very thin as he looks at it.

"I am sorry." He tells me. I frown.

"Why?" I ask him "You didn't do anything."

"Precisely" he tells me, looking deep into my eyes and for a moment, I'm lost. "I should have done something. When I heard you shout I looked out and started to come to help you, until I saw Agent Stark pulling him away. So I went back to my room."

"Don't worry about it." I tell him, smiling "It's very nice of you to apologise, but you getting involved probably would have done more damage than help."

"You're probably right." Loki agrees with me sadly. He lifts his head suddenly, dropping my arm. "Thor will be looking for me."

"Okay." I smile at him "Enjoy the book" I repeat.

"I'm sure I will" He smiles and me and opens the door. "Thank you for the book, Agent Romanoff."

"You're welcome" I tell him "And call me Natasha. Please." He looks as though he's about to protest, but at my 'please' he stops.

"Very well." He smiles at me. "Natasha." And without warning he lifts my sore arm with his free hand again, strokes the bruise lightly before softly pressing his lips against it. I gasp, not in pain, but in surprise. He smirks at me slightly and turns and walks away, leaving me standing there speechless.

For the first time in my life, I was speechless.

This can't be good.

_A/N Hope this chapter is long enough for you guys and I hope you liked it :D_

_Any and all comments are more than welcome and big hugs from Loki will be given to everyone who reviews ;)_

_CaffinH_


	8. Loud Music and Broken Bags

Chapter Eight

My skin still tingles where his lips touched. I lay on my bed, staring up at the ceiling replaying the moment in my mind. A sharp pain in my shoulder reminds me of my other bruise. I wish he'd kissed that one too. I imagine him kissing my shoulder, my neck, my lips...

Oh God.

"_Snap out of it Natasha!"_ I tell myself, but even just thinking my own name reminds me of the way he twirled his tongue around each syllable...

I sit up and run my fingers through my hair. What is wrong with me?

Screw it. I change quickly and jog quickly towards the gym, making sure to go the long way around so that I won't pass Loki's door. The gym is empty other than Steve who's doing some weights. He nods in acknowledgement but doesn't stop. He must have been watching those documentaries again – he always gets like this when he's reminded of the time he came from.

I do it too though, I suppose, with my ballet. Every time I dream of what I never was its like I feel this urge to exercise it out of me. Right now, all I want to do is put on the Nutcracker – another favourite of mine – and dance, but no. It'll have to wait until later.

I plug myself into my iPod and Medic Droid start playing. I don't like them much but they're great to get you in the mood to exercise. I make my way over to the punch bags and I start lightly, just simple punches as the song shouts in my head.

'_**Pulled up at a stoplight, did drugs on the dashboard, look at the mess we made tonight...'**_

Tony and Thor walk in laughing about something or another. I grind my teeth in irritation. I just want to forget for a while. I don't want to think about anything – not my nightmares and especially not Loki. I turn up my music so I don't have to hear whatever they're talking with Steve about.

'_**We're not falling in love, we're just falling apart, so girl let's dance the night away'**_

I work my frustration out on the punch bag, trying some different punches now, entirely focused on the music I'm listening too and the punches I'm throwing. I even add in some kicks – I haven't exercised like this in a while and it feels good to strain myself.

'_**This is how the beat goes, this is how the beat goes, just let your body go'**_

_Kick – punch – punch – kick- breathe – punch – kick- don't forget to breathe – kick._

'_**This is the end of what we planned, of what we planned tonight'**_

I'm sweating heavily already and though I try to focus on the lyrics I can't. I try thinking about Clint and his actions earlier, what I'm going to say to him when I see him.

'_**All this time is wasted pretending we're in love, but that's alright because you know I love being with you and seeing you cry, so don't let go'**_

_Kick – punch – punch – punch – punch – stop punching Natasha –breathe._

I'm so focused it isn't until it's too late do I realise the song's finished and next song has started. Of course, it had to be a love song, but it isn't the sentiment behind it that hits me almost as hard as I'm hitting the punch bag, it's the lyrics.

'_**The colour of your eyes run's deep through me, I'll stand all alone and wait for you...'**_

And as suddenly as the words sing in my ears my mind is filled with visions of Loki's dark green eyes.

'_why can't I stop thinking about him?'_ I yell at myself inwardly and with a shout I kick the punch bag so hard that the chain holding it to the ceiling breaks and it's falls to the floor with a loud bang.

I turn around, slowly pulling out my earphones, to see Tony, Steve and Thor all staring at me, eyes wide.

"Well." Tony is the first to break the silence "I don't want to be Clint when you get your hands on him."

Even in my breathlessness and frustration I have to laugh at that. Inside I am slightly relived that Tony is blaming it on Clint. They don't need to know I can't get the God of Mischief out of my mind. I can imagine their reactions – Tony's teasing, Thor's delight at the possibility of us being sibling-in-law's, Clint declaring that it's all a mind trick...what does he know. Idiot.

'_huh'_ I converse inwardly _'I guess I'm angrier with him than I realised.'_

"What did Clint do?" Steve asks, looking back and forth between Tony, Thor and I – although Thor looks just as confused as Steve.

"Nothing to worry about Cap, he just got a little rough with Natasha here in the kitchen at lunch." Tony tells him. I practically growl under my breath.

"A little rough?" I glare "Do you call this-" I pull my tshirt down so that he can see my shoulder "- a little rough?!"

Steve gasps at the bruise – I blush a deep red. I shouldn't have shown them. Now Clint will be in trouble with them and that's the last thing I want. Is it? He's supposed to be my friend but he did that to me in the first place and he hasn't even come to apologise. Not that I would let him, I suppose.

"Tony's right." I cover my arm awkwardly "It's not a big deal."

"Shit Tasha." Tony says, the use of my nickname showing that for once he's serious "I didn't realise it was that bad. It is a big deal – have you asked Bruce to check it out?"

"That might not be such a good idea, Tony." Steve says and I'm surprised to see that he is angry. I don't think I've ever seen him angry like this before – and if that's his reaction I don't want to see Bruce's.

"Good point." Tony mutters, clapping Steve on the back.

"Lady Natasha." Thor declares. I growl again, I hate it when he calls me that. "We shall talk to Mr Barton on your behalf if you wish."

"No, Thor, It's fine." I tell him. "Guys its fine, it was an accident. He shouldn't have lost his temper, but trust me, I'll talk to him about that."

Steve turns away for a moment, as if to control himself. I walk over to him and place a hand between his shoulder blades.

"Don't judge him for this Steve" I tell him "He's a good guy, everyone makes mistakes."

Steve sighs and nods in agreement.

"Fine, but don't expect us to stand back if it happens again." He warns me. I momentarily feel angry – it's kind of him to offer to protect me, but I'm not defenceless. I'm about to yell at him for being a sexist pig, and coming from World War 2 is no excuse for that in today's world but he continues before I get chance. "None of us are going to stand by and watch one of our team bully another. I will not stand for that, and I highly doubt anyone else will."

I take a moment to process that. He doesn't want to protect me because I'm a girl, he wants to protect me as part of the team. The same way he'd protect Tony or Thor or Bruce or Clint – though maybe not Clint at this precise moment in time.

"Thanks Steve" I hug him, shocking him and the other two. I'm not a huggy person. "I'll go talk to Clint now."

"Try not to break him like you broke the bag!" Tony calls after me and I roll my eyes as Thor's booming laughter follows me towards Clint's room.

Taking a breath, I knock slowly.

"Yeah?" Clint calls through the door and I walk in.

"Tasha!" Clint leaps to his feet and practically jumps towards me. I hold him at arm's length away – not because I'm afraid of him, if he attacks me again, I'm ready, but because he needs to know that I'm not going to forgive him until he explains. He seems to understand and he backs off a little.

"I'm so sorry Tasha." Clint tells me. He sits on the bed and rubs his face with his hands. "I don't know what got into me. I was so worried about you – that's why I went to find Tony, to see if you'd used your key card to leave. And then you were there, and all fine and I was angry and embarrassed that I worried so much when it was pointless. I lashed out."

I don't answer. At first I want to scoff at his excuse and then I realise that I had done the same two nights before to Loki when I shouted at him. And he had forgiven me. Clint deserved the same.

"I'm sorry Tash." He repeats. I sit down on the bed beside him.

"It's fine." I tell him. He looks up at me, his eyes brilliant and blue. "If you do it again, I'll kick your ass." I warn him and he smiles and hugs me. My eyes widen in surprise before I pat his back awkwardly. I've already hugged one Avenger today, two seems like too much. I push him away – thankfully he's used to the way I am and doesn't take offense.

"Hey Tash." He says after five minutes of comfortable silence.

"hmm?" I reply.

"You stink." He tells me. I turn around, acting offended and punch him in the arm. He's right though, I do stink.

"I'm going to go shower." I tell him and then I leave, letting him know I'll see him later.

Dinner is uneventful, though Steve's worried glances at Clint do not go missed by me– but at least he doesn't say anything. I do feel a brief moment of sadness when I glance at Loki's closed bedroom door and I remind myself of my vow to get him to eat with us one day.

But not today, there's been enough excitement to last us a week in these past 24 hours. After food most of us sit down to watch a film – its Bruce's night to pick and he decides on 'Love Actually'. Again. However we've all got out allocated film nights – if that's what Bruce wants to watch, that's what we'll watch regardless of the complaints, and as I sit between Bruce and Thor with a glass of wine, laughing at Thor's comments and Tony's jokes, I have a really good evening. I notice that Loki's door is open during the film and I know he's listening, but I understand that he doesn't want to come out today, and I decide to respect his wish.

When I fall into bed at 1am I expect to fall asleep quickly due to the excitement of the day and the three glasses of wine I ended up drinking, but at 4.26am I am wide awake and I decide that tonight I will not hide in my room. I'll go to the gym, just as I usually do.

I sneak past all the bedrooms, aware for the first time that there could be someone else awake and I creep into the gym. I turn on the lights and look around for Loki, a twinge of disappointment in my stomach when I realise he isn't there. However, on the work out bench he stood beside last time we were here, when I fell, is a package. I approach it slowly. On top of the package is my book, the one I lent Loki. He's finished it already. I make a mental note to lend him the second one tomorrow.

Heart thudding I read the note left on top of the book, written in emerald green elegant writing.

_Natasha,  
Thank you for the book.  
This is a sign, not only of my appreciation, but that I truly believe you are a natural dancer.  
And a natural dancer should have the correct footwear.  
Yours  
~Loki_

Fingers trembling, I trace the words '_Yours, Loki'_ and the ink smudges slightly, staining the tip of my finger green. It's recent. I turn around quickly, wondering if he is in fact still here, but knowing he isn't.

I open the box slowly, though the card specified exactly what it contained. Inside are white satin wrapped ballet shoes, brand new and expensive-looking. I gasp as I stroke the soft material.

'_I can't keep these'_ I decide. _'I have to give them back...first thing tomorrow.'_

Pulling the shoes out of the box I quickly place them on my feet and lace them up like I used to in my memories. I smile.

Of course, they're a perfect fit.

_**A/N Hope you guys liked it :D I've been working up to this bit for a while, since chapter 2 actually which seems so long ago now! Also, three cheers for this being the longest chapter yet!**_

_**-hiphiphoray!-**_

_**In case anyone wants to know the two songs are "Fer Sure" By the Medic Droid and "It's About Love" by the Medic Droid. I thought the lyrics would be fitting in this chapter. Hope you guys liked :D**_

_**Big hugs for everyone who reviews ^^**_

_**CaffinH**_


	9. Dangerous and Handsome

Chapter Nine

I'm sitting on my bed, legs up against my chest and my chin resting on my knees, staring at Them. For a second, I'm convinced that They're staring back at me, begging me to keep Them.

I groan and put the ballet shoes back in the box, stroking the material briefly before putting the lid back on. This is silly. I've had them for less than 6 hours and already I'm attached. They're just shoes.

But dancing in them was so easy and comfortable. For the first time ever I danced and I didn't think about what I had lost when I discovered that my memories were fake. I relived those memories instead and it wasn't painful, or distracting. It was relaxing. I'd forgotten how much I missed dancing – even though what I thought I missed had never really happened.

'_There you go again Natasha.'_ I think to myself, sighing _'You always put a downer on the situation.'_

But last night was different. I allowed myself to remember – without reminding myself every two seconds that it wasn't real. And when I eventually tore myself away from the gym and went to bed, my last thoughts were that when I woke up and remembered that it wasn't real I'd be all the worse for it.

But I was wrong. When I woke up, and saw the shoes sitting on my bedside table, I thought of Loki. And I smiled.

In fact, I usually smile when I think of him now. I can't believe that only this time last week we hadn't had a single conversation with each other – other than that conversation when he was trying to kill us all that is.

I feel that the fact that he tried to kill us all, threatened to force Clint – my best friend – to murder me in an excruciatingly painful way should bother me more, but it doesn't. I don't see the point in holding a grudge. Like I've said before, we've all done terrible things in the past. Hell, five years ago if I'd had the ability I probably would have tried taking over the world myself. Who doesn't want absolute power?

Sometimes I think back on the bad things I've done and I shake with regret. I've killed a lot of people, and damaged a lot more. But then I remind myself that I've saved a lot more people than I've hurt since I joined SHIELD. And I love being part of the Avengers. It used to be just me and Clint against the world, and though I love Clint, it was tough. Now I have several brothers and knowing that we would all do anything for each other means a lot to me. I'm sure it does for them too.

Which is why I need to encourage Loki to join us. I don't know how I would have lived through the past few years if I wasn't supported at every angle. I'm sure I would have been attacked left right and centre by the regrets I have and the things I did in the past. How is he handling it, refusing to leave his room with nothing but his thoughts and Thor's war books to keep him occupied? Maybe that's why he draws.

Speaking of Loki...

I pick up the rest of the Sherlock Holmes books and the box with the shoes inside and after one last glimpse at them I leave my room and walk briskly to Loki's. I feel a twinge of regret – they're beautiful shoes and I really could use them – but I can't accept a gift like this.

I take a deep breath and knock on the door after a brief check to see if anyone is watching. It doesn't matter if they are, but better safe than sorry. The way Clint's been acting lately, it's just not worth the trouble.

Loki opens the door after a few seconds, surprise etched all over his handsome expression.

'_Did I just think Handsome?!'_ I blush a deep red.

"Natasha." Loki greets me and I blush even deeper, once again wondering if he can read my thoughts.

"Loki" I nod, behaving a little formal in my embarrassment. "Can I come in?"

"Of course" he looks surprised again on his – _yes, handsome but that doesn't matter, it's not a big deal, it's just a fact, it doesn't mean anything, shut up Natasha!_ – features. He moves out of the way to let me in and closes the door behind me. I'm lost in my internal argument regarding Loki's features and the noise makes me jump.

"I'm sorry" He apologises, looking at me in a way I can only describe as thorough. "I didn't mean to make you jump. Would you rather keep the door open?"

"No" I reply, confused by his question "It's fine. its better actually, I don't know about you, but I prefer the privacy."

"Oh." He looks shocked. "I just assumed you wouldn't want to be alone in a room with me. I doubt your friends consider me the least dangerous of people."

"I hadn't even thought of that." I admit. He continues to look shocked "I've been alone with you plenty of times Loki. I don't consider you dangerous."

"Oh?" he smirks. Oh dear, that smirk can't be good. "You think you can take me, Natasha?"

He comes in close to me, so close I can smell him. He smells of old books and it's all I can do to stop myself leaning into him and breathing deeply. As it is, it's hard enough to breathe at all with him so close.

"I-I-" I growl at myself inwardly for stuttering "I just don't think you'd hurt me, that's all."

Loki backs away and I'm both relieved and disappointed.

"You always manage to surprise me." He tells me, his expression soft. I smile at him and he smiles back, causing me to blush.

If I keep blushing and not breathing properly like this I'm going to pass out or something.

"I brought you the rest of the books." I tell him, handing them over. He glances curiously at the box in my hand but doesn't mention it.

"Thank you" he smiles handsomely at me – _Stop it Natasha!_ – "I've been really looking forward to reading the rest."

"Well, you read the first one so quickly I thought that rather than you having to wait so long for the other's I'd bring them all to you, so you can read them at your leisure." I tell him, smiling slightly at the obvious pleasure on his face as his long fingers stroke the pages softly. I shake my head, trying to focus. "I came to thank you."

He looks up at me.

"You're welcome" He smiles. "Did you like them?"

"I love them." I answer truthfully "But I can't accept them."

"Why not?" Loki asks, after a brief pause.

"It's just too much." I tell him, cutting across him before he has chance to argue "I don't know how much these must have cost you – they couldn't have been cheap though, I know that much. It's such a thoughtful gift, but I don't feel right in accepting."

"It doesn't matter the price." Loki replies, putting the books down and walking over to stand right in front of me. "I put a lot of thought and effort into purchasing those for you." I wonder how he did buy them? And with what money?

"I know" I tell him "And I'm not ungrateful, but I still can't keep them."

"Didn't you like them?" he asks me, his eyes wide and vulnerable. Oh god, I've offended him.

"I loved them." I tell him, but he looks away. "Hey" I say softly, taking his hand to get his attention back. He looks at me in disbelief. "I love them. And I want to keep them, but I can't."

I place the box in his hands and he looks sadly at me.

"If you want them, you should keep them." He tells me, trying to give them back but I back away towards the door.

"I'm sorry I offended you." I tell him, genuinely sad that he's upset, and I leave. I don't go back to my room – instead I go to the gym and take all the guilt I feel for offending Loki and use it as energy, running laps and fight simulations, even doing some wrestling with Clint, though even he senses something is wrong when he manages to score an easy point while fighting because I'm so distracted.

"What's wrong Tash?" He asks me as we leave the gym. I glance quickly at Loki's closed door.

"Nothing" I reply, and he sighs. "What?" I turn to him. Have I offended him too?

"I wish you'd talk to me sometimes, that's all" He replies moodily and wanders off. I groan in frustration and turn and punch the wall behind me.

"Why are you so stupid, Natasha." I groan to myself, resting my head against the wall briefly before turning around, clutching my bleeding hand and walking briskly to my room. I don't notice Loki's door opening quietly behind me as he watches me walk away.

**A/N**

**Still trying to increase the size of my chapters guys! Making sure each chapter is over 1,500 words, and soon that will be increasing to 1,750 and onwards. Hope you're all still enjoying :)**

**Sorry for the delay on this chapter, I started back in Uni this week and I had a bit of writers block with this story along with sudden inspiration for my Hunger Games fanfic – resulting in no chapters for this one for a week. However I hope to get a few chapters of this one up before the weekend is over and a few for How To Kill A Mockingjay too.**

**Out of curiosity, do I have any readers who are reading both my stories?**

**Also, MistakenMagic and applecoral have both been really supportive reviewers this past week or so, so I just wanted to publically thank you for your help and recommend your stories to my readers, as you're both talented writers with a shared love of Loki/Natasha (or maybe just a love of Loki... ;) )**

**Anyway, please continue reading and reviewing with any suggestions people have or constructive criticism and the next chapter should be up soon :)**

**Thanks Guys! **

**CaffinH**


	10. Pizza and Propositions

Chapter Ten

I didn't think my hand was broken, but I thought I'd better check so after a quick shower I knock at Bruce's door. He's in his room, on his way to dinner but he offer's to check me over now and then we can have food together. Today is Tony's night to cook – which means we're probably having take away pizza – so there's no rush.

Bruce has the biggest room. Our rooms are all similar in size, but some are bigger than others. Loki's is the smallest. Bruce get's the biggest because he keeps a lot of his work there so that makes sense. He does have a lab lower down in the building – he work's for Tony now, so he's the one who earns the most out of us all.

"Isn't it stressful?" I ask him as he places my hand in a small portable x-ray machine.

"What's that now?" Bruce glances up at me, concentrating fully on my hand as a good doctor should.

"All the work you do." I reply. "You're the only one out of us all who has two jobs – I mean, I know Tony works too but he's the boss. He does as much or as little work as he wants. And Steve does training days with the army sometimes, but their part of his SHIELD assignments. But when I'm not on assignment I don't work, other than the odd one or two things to help Tony out. Clint doesn't work either and Thor spends most of his time flying back and forth between Asgard and his girlfriend. Isn't it stressful to have two full time jobs?"

"It can be." He tells me after a pause. He's finished with the machine now so he's just waiting for the picture to come through. "I work with Tony a lot which – though he can be a handful – is fun. And after assignments Tony gives me as much time as I want off to relax before getting back to work. But honestly, if I didn't do so much I think I'd get bored. And I'd rather be stressed than bored." He grins at me "and so would the 'other' guy." I smile.

"That makes sense" I tell him. Then the picture comes through and after a brief inspection Bruce declares that my hand is not broken, just bruised so he disinfects the cuts on my knuckles and puts a small plaster on it – teasing me and telling me I'm like a child with a scuffed knee – before deeming me fit and healthy.

"So how did you hurt your hand anyway?" He asks me as we walk towards the dining room. "Did Clint-"

"No" I cut across him, smiling "No, it wasn't Clint. Who told you about that?"

"Tony let slip today in the lab." He informs me and I remind myself to bruise my other hand punching Tony at some point. "You don't need to hide things from me, you know."

"I wasn't hiding it from you" I tell him, and he looks at me sceptically. "Really I wasn't. I just didn't want everyone to know, it's no big deal."

"Right." Bruce teases "I believe you..."

"I'm telling the truth!" I grin at him, arguing back playfully. He knows I'm telling the truth, it's just friendly banter.

As predicted it's take away pizza for dinner tonight. As Bruce and I are one of the last two there – prompting many inappropriate comments from Tony and Thor who has started to learn Tony's sense of humour unfortunately. I slap the both of them across the head and they protest briefly at me for messing up their hair.

"And I thought I was the girl here" I laugh, taking a seat next to Clint. He doesn't say anything. He must be still annoyed. I roll my eyes.

"What's up Hawk?" I use his code-name. He grunts in reply. I sigh, before being inspired, watching how childish Tony and Thor are, teasing Bruce. Even Steve's joined in.

"Hey, Clint." I turn to him "Wanna see my plaster?"

"What?" he turns to me in surprise and I have to laugh at the expression on his face.

"I hurt my hand and Bruce gave me a plaster" I tell him "Isn't it childish?"

"That's where you and Bruce were?" Clint asks, looking at my hand.

"Well, yeah." I reply, frowning "You didn't think the guys were being serious, did you?"

"Of course not" Clint laughs awkwardly. I don't believe him for a second, but he starts behaving normally again so I don't bring it up. I'm in a good enough mood – even though I'm still feeling a bit guilty about Loki - and I plan to enjoy it.

Actually, thinking about Loki, I have an idea.

"Hey Tony." I ask him. He's sitting opposite me, next to Thor and only they are really listening to me as Bruce, Steve and Clint are in a complicated discussion about some kind of boy thing that I don't really care about.

"What's up Red?" He asks me. I roll my eyes at the nickname and Thor laughs.

"Mind if I give Loki some pizza?" I ask. Tony raises his eyebrow at me and Thor stops laughing and looks at me oddly. "I just thought it might be a nice idea for a chance, for him to eat the same time as us. Give Thor the night off, so to speak." I quickly explain in a way that isn't going to lead Tony into making any more inappropriate comments and irritating Clint again. Tony seems to buy it, but Thor is still staring at me.

"Go ahead." He tells me, handing me half a pizza in a box. I hope he likes this flavour. I jump up from my seat and avoiding Thor's eyes – the other guys haven't noticed still – I go knock on his door. Thank god we're out of sight of the kitchen, I'm sure this will be awkward enough as it is, without the guys watching me.

The door opens quicker than it did earlier and Loki stands there in his trousers and nothing else.

"Natasha?" He looks surprised – again – before realising he's half naked and crossing his arms across his chest "I thought it was Thor." He explains.

Loki is...wow. I mean, Thor's massive – too big if you ask me – and next to him, Loki comes across as quite thin. Seeing him now, shirtless, that definitely isn't the case.

"Natasha?" I shake my head, his voice snapping me out of my fantasy. I look at him and blush deep red at his smirk. He doesn't need to be able to read minds to know what I'm thinking right now.

"I brought pizza!" I announce brightly. His eyes widen slightly – first of all, I'm not a 'bright' person, so this behaviour is very unusual and is possibly caused by too much blood in my head from blushing repeatedly. Secondly, the whole pizza bringing is probably a bit of a shock to him.

"Why?" he asks, staring at me as I put the box down on his bed.

"Thought you might be hungry." I shrugged. I notice he's holding the third Sherlock Holmes book in his hands. "Hey, you skipped the second one?" I ask.

"No" He smiles "I finished it about half hour ago. Just started this one."

"Oh" I smile back "Okay. I'll leave you to your pizza and book." And I practically skip out of the room, closing the door behind me on his bemused expression.

Well, that was awkward. Way more awkward than the rest of the evening which mostly involves me avoiding Thor's curious looks – he's not very discrete – and taking advantage of my good mood by beating some of the guys asses at some of their games. At the end of the night as I walk back to my room with Clint I think that I probably would have preferred being with Loki though. I mean it was more awkward than what I did, but there was a much better view.

"_Behave"_ I growl at myself inwardly, wishing Clint goodnight, and collapsing into bed.

Maybe tonight I'll sleep all through tonight.

But that was wishful thinking. 2.30am and I'm awake and I'm restless. I wish I had my shoes.

"_They're not your shoes"_ I tell myself miserably. I briefly consider sneaking into Loki's room and borrowing them, just for tonight until I realise how silly that is. Besides, what would happen in the likely event that Loki would wake up while I was rifling through his room? That would be extremely awkward, I'd imagine.

I lay in bed for a few more minutes before groaning and getting up. I've made it this far without ballet shoes and there's no reason I shouldn't continue. I tie my hair up in a loose bobble, but I don't bother changing out of my tank top and shorts that I wear to bed. There's no point.

However, when I get to the gym and see the lights are on I suddenly wish more than anything that I was wearing something a little less...revealing. I consider going back to change, but I know that if I go back the chances are I won't return, and I'm curious to see who else is awake at this hour, even though I'm pretty sure I already know.

Pushing the door open the smell of old books practically seduces me and I know my guess was right. Loki sits on a bench halfway across the room, waiting. In his hands are the shoes.

"I'm not taking them back you know." I tell him once I realise he's already seen me and there's no point in running away. He's wearing black tracksuit and a plain blue tshirt. I never realised such a simple outfit could look so good on someone – but I guess Loki makes everything look good. I don't know a single other guy who could pull off a green super-villain costume with massive golden horns, but he somehow gets away with it.

"Oh, I don't know about that." Loki stands and walks towards me, a smirk playing on his lips. "You know, you shouldn't be so abrupt in making decisions."

"Well, you seem to have made your mind up." I tell him, hopefully sounding more confident then I feel. "Maybe it's you who's being abrupt. What makes you think I'll take them?"

"I know you'll take them." He says, circling me slowly like a bird circles its prey. I swallow loudly; my mouth seems to be dryer than the dessert. "and that's not me being abrupt. It's a fact."

"Oh?" I reply, raising an eyebrow boldly.

"Yes." He tells me. He stops walking round me in circles and puts his hands on my shoulders. I shiver at his touch. "I think I can _persuade_ you." He says quietly, and I can feel his warm breath on my ear.

"Is that right?" I reply, very aware that my voice is shaking.

"I'm always right, Natasha." I can practically hear the smirk in his voice. He spins me around suddenly and I lose my balance in my surprise and fall forwards against his chest. I look up into his deep green eyes as he steadies me, and he looks back at mine.

"I have a proposition for you." He says after a moment. I blink a few times, trying to free myself from whatever spell those eyes have put me under.

"I'm listening." I tell him and he smiles. He knew I'd be curious.

"I propose you give me the chance to persuade you." He tells me. "Come to dinner with me tomorrow night. If I can persuade you to keep the shoes over dinner then you keep them. If I can't then I'll send them back, no arguments, and I won't be offended."

"You mean...like a date?" I ask him, eyes wide. This is definitely not what I was expecting.

"What do you think?" He replies, looking at me boldly but I can see that his fingers are shaking slightly. He's nervous. I smile.

"Very well." I answer. If he wasn't so nervous I'd know he didn't care, and I wouldn't accept. But I know he's sincere and that's enough for me for now. "Meet me at 7? Outside my room?"

"I can do that." He smiles, breathing a sigh of relief that I don't think I'm supposed to notice. He places the shoes in my hands. "I'll leave you to your dancing." He quotes me earlier when I brought him pizza. I grin at him as he leaves, and he looks back briefly and smiles at me before he closes the door. I wait for a full minute, until I know he's out of earshot before I let out a childish squeal, just to release some of the excitement in my stomach.

I can't wait.

**A/N**

**Told you there wouldn't be much of a wait until the next chapter :P**

**Chapter Eleven: Will Natasha tell the guys about her date? Find out soon.**


	11. Little Boys and Big Brothers

Chapter Eleven

I wake up and for a grand total of 8 seconds I don't know why I have this strange fluttering in my stomach, both exciting and nauseating at the same time. And then I remember.

Tonight's my date with Loki.

I sit up straight in bed and then have to wait a second to stop feeling dizzy before climbing out of bed and pulling on a dressing gown. I don't think I have the mental capacity to do anything productive today like exercise or even just think. Today I'm going to have a relaxing day. There's not even any real point in getting dressed, so I just brush my hair and teeth and walk to the dining room to get something to eat. Its 11am – I woke up late again today, this seems to be becoming a regular occurrence –but most of the guys are just getting up. Bruce isn't here – he must be working. Tony is here and he's the one who probably should be working. Steve and Thor are here too, but there's no sign of Clint. I ask where he is.

"Frost got him up early this morning." Tony mumbles through a mouthful of some sort of sandwich "Gave him a quick assignment."

"He'll be back later tonight" Steve tells me, looking embarrassed at Tony's lack of manners.

"Lady Natasha" Thor addresses me. I hate it when he calls me that. "Are you unwell?"

"I'm fine" I reply, frowning "Why?"

"You're still in your nightwear." He announces, making every guy in the room stare at me suddenly as if I'd just grown a second head.

"Yeah...and?" I ask, making something to eat.

"It's most unlike you" He tells me and I roll my eyes "I did not mean any offense."

"Tell you what" I sit on the counter, eating my sandwich. Steve rolls his eyes at how 'unlady-like' I'm behaving – he's a proper little housewife when he wants to be. "I won't take offense if you stop calling me Lady Natasha. I feel like some kind of medieval princess when you call me that."

Tony laughs as Thor bows his head, his mane of hair falling forward as he does.

"As you wish, Miss Natasha." I roll my eyes.

"Just Natasha is fine, thank you" I smile at him and Thor shakes his head in bewilderment and wanders over to the fridge, muttering something about strange earth women. Tony watches in amusement.

"So seriously Nat." He says "What's with the laziness today, eh?"

"Can't a girl be lazy once in a while?" I grin and Steve looks at me suspiciously.

"You're in an awfully good mood." He tells me, eyes narrowed. Tony suddenly jumps up from his chair.

"You're hiding something from us!" He gasps "Oh, come on, tell us!"

"There's nothing to tell!" I laugh, jumping down from the counter and pouring myself a glass of juice.

"La-" Thor begins, and pauses remembering our conversation "Natasha, I believe you are lying to us."

"Come on Nat!" Tony practically bounces over to me and puts his arm around my shoulder as Steve watches in amusement. "Tell uncle Ironman."

I laugh at him, blushing red. There's no harm in telling them is there? They're going to find out anyway, better from me now than from Thor later if Loki tells him. Or from someone else if they see us leaving together.

"I may or may not have a date tonight." I announce, taking another sip of my drink to hide my blushing face as Tony shouts hah!

"I knew it." Steve teases "With who?"

"oh I know!" Tony announces, hand in the air like a child in class "It has to be one of our group because Nat hasn't been out much lately."

"That's true." Thor says. He's looking at me with those sky blue eyes and I can see him putting two and two together.

"Is it Clint?" Steve asks and I shake my head. I finish my drink, put the glass in the sink before taking a deep breath.

"Actually..." I turn to look at them, arms crossed in a 'if you don't like it, deal with it way' "It's Loki."

There's a brief pause. Well, maybe not so brief. There's a reasonably long pause.

"As in tall, dark and evil Loki?" Tony looks at me in astonishment. Steve looks very conflicted while Thor looks...I can't actually explain the expression Thor has on his face. The ball of worry in my stomach gets bigger.

"Do you know any other Loki's?" I ask, trying to make the situation a little lighter "I don't think it's a very common name."

No one laughs. I didn't expect them too, it wasn't very funny. The pause continues until I can't keep quiet anymore.

"Look." I say, and they all look up at me. "Loki's done some bad things. But so have I, and so have all of you. His punishment was to be sent to earth and have his powers removed, which is what has happened and there's no reason at all why, now that he's here, he can't live a perfectly normal life. I'm not asking you guys to forget what he's done in the past. But he regrets that stuff just as much as you all regret some things that you've done, so I'm asking you to treat him the same way you would want to be treated."

I'm breathing heavily by the end of the speech and I stay quiet while I let my words sink in. I'm about to give up and leave when Tony speaks.

"So we should treat him the same as any of the rest of us?" He asks and I nod. He grins "Great! Another person to subject to my jokes and incredible humour!"

I roll my eyes and internally apologise to Loki for getting him into this.

"I'm happy for you Nat" Steve smiles at me, and it's a genuine smile. I nod back at him formally before grinning and giving both him and Tony a hug, surprising them both. I'm not sure if I like this new huggy me, but with being so excited and nervous about tonight and so anxious about telling them, I couldn't help it. I back away. Thor still hasn't said anything and he stares at me. I realise he has a lot more to consider than the other guys – I mean, Loki's his brother, so I smile at him to let him know I understand. He smiles briefly back.

The subject is changed and I finish my food before wandering back to my room to give the guys chance to gossip with each other. Honestly, they're worse than a bunch of old women.

I've barely had chance to close the door to my room before there's a booming knock and I open it to find Thor standing there, his massive form almost taking up the entire door frame.

"Come in." I say. I wasn't expecting him, but I'm not surprised he's here. He nods his thanks and comes into the room. I close the door while he's looking around.

"Do you want to sit down?" I gesture to my computer chair or my bed. He nods and sits on the chair, so I sit on the bed opposite him. I don't say anything; I just wait for him to collect his thoughts. And eventually, he speaks.

"Loki has been through a lot." He starts, and though I'm surprised by the direction this conversation has taken, I listen carefully. "He has always felt overshadowed by me. I don't think it's because he was adopted, I think it's because I'm older and from what I understand of Earth siblings, there is a common sense of under-appreciation when it comes to the younger children." He looks up at me for confirmation and I nod. That makes sense. "He loves our father and mother very much and he did a lot of bad things because he felt betrayed by them – not being able to see them without me taking him to Asgard has given him some perspective in this. Though he's still upset, it doesn't bother him as it used too, because he misses them. And he misses Asgard. He's in a very vulnerable state at the minute and I need to know you're not going to take advantage of that." Thor looks at me, straight in the eye and I look back in shock.

"You think I'm going to hurt him?" Thor doesn't react. I sigh. "I can't promise that I won't hurt him eventually." I admit and Thor looks slightly disappointed "The guys I get close to usually end up hurt. But I can promise that I won't do it on purpose and I have no intentions of hurting him. In fact, I have every intention of helping him, if I can."

Thor smiles at me, looking relieved.

"You know" I add, "Unless he tries to destroy the world again. Then we'll have to see."

"As will I" Thor laughs "But I'm doubtful of that. From what Loki's told me, a lot of what he did wasn't entirely his idea. But I won't tell you too much, if he wishes you to know then he will tell you himself." I nod. This information is new to me, but as he said, if Loki wants to tell me, he will in his own time.

"Very well. I'm glad we had this conversation Lady Natasha." Thor stands.

"Just Natasha." I remind him and he laugh's awkwardly.

"Yes. Natasha." He opens the door and then stops again.

"Have you seen his drawings?" he asks, not looking at me.

"Some of them." I admit "Only one or two though."

"He draws Asgard." Thor tells me "He draws our mother and father. He draws the other planets we have been too, and sometimes he draws Earth. He even draws frostgiants on occasion – they will always be a part of him and that haunts him. And recently, he's drawn you."

Thor walks away, leaving me staring after him with images in my mind of Loki bend over a piece of paper, pencil in hand, sketching me.

**A/N**

**Hope you enjoyed :) **

**I've been trying to include some of the other characters because some of the earlier chapters were very much revolving around Natasha, Loki and Clint. I'm quite enjoying writing Tony's humour and it was interesting in Chapter Ten to focus on Bruce for a while, and before that there's was a bit of focus on Steve. Obviously, I need to include Thor more as well – after all he's Loki's big bro! So you can look forward to more of that in upcoming chapters.**

**But don't worry Loki-Lovers, just because there's more of the other Avengers that doesn't mean there's going to be any less Loki :) **

**Also, I have to apologise for not updating in about a week and then putting three chapters up at once :') The next chapter may take a while to write so I'm not sure when it'll be up, but it shouldn't be too long, hopefully before the weekend is up.**

**Anyway, thank you for reading, please review and look forward to Chapter Twelve – The Date!**

**CaffinH**


	12. Two Different Worlds & Swan Lake Endings

Chapter Twelve

OhGodOhGodOhGod.

I'm going to be late. This is so frustrating – I wish I knew where we were going. I play it safe, wearing a short plain black wrap around dress. My hair is curly and loose and I have a black scarf wrapped around my head like a hair band, keeping most of my unruly curls out of my face. I considered tights, but it looks so warm out I decided not to, so bare legs it is with some simple black heels.

No I don't look brilliant. And yes, I could look better. But considering I have no idea where we're going, the last thing I want to do is turn up in a long sparkly dress to find out we're just going for McDonalds, or turn up in jeans and a tshirt to find out we're going dancing or something.

I hope we're not going dancing. Tonight is purely about getting to know Loki better and him trying to persuade me to keep those gorgeous shoes. If we were dancing there'd be loud music so we wouldn't be able to talk – defeats the point of trying to learn more about him – and we'd be pressed up against each other, his hand on mine, my eyes level with those gorgeous lips...

"_Snap out of it!"_ I scold myself, finishing my make-up _"Stop thinking about his lips."_

Easier said than done, as it turns out.

I put a little bit of lipgloss on, finish my mascara and eyeliner and I'm ready. I start to leave before I remembered he supposed to come get me from my room.

"_Bad idea, Natasha." _I tell myself. Now all I can do is sit here and wait for him to come and get me.

Nervously, I brush my hair quickly. Then I re-apply my lipgloss. And then I brush my hair again. I'm reaching for my brush a third time when there's a knock at my door and I turn quickly. Too quickly as it turns out because as I turn I knock a heavy glass paperweight off my desk and it hits my foot before shattering on the floor.

I cry out in pain, falling to the floor as I do. Suddenly Loki is kneeling beside me.

"Natasha?" He asks, panicked. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine" I gasp, embarrassed that he had to see me like this. "I just dropped this, that's all" I gesture to the broken paperweight. Loki picks up the ornament and the bits of glass and places them carefully on the desk while I examine my foot, blushing angrily. This isn't how it was meant to go, I was supposed to answer the door and he would look at me and tell me how nice I look. It was childish to think like that – that stuff only happens in movies.

I jump in surprise as Loki bends down and takes my hand, pulling me gently to my feet.

"Is your foot okay?" He asks me and I blush again, but for a very different reason. He's still holding my hand, even though I'm standing perfectly fine.

"Yes" I reply honestly. "Doesn't hurt at all."

Loki looks relieved.

"I'm glad" he tells me "It would be awkward if I had to carry you all night." He smirks, implying that he wouldn't mind at all.

"It would be awkward, wouldn't it" I agree, laughing. "Why, does this evening require much walking?"

"Sort of." Loki smirks at my curiosity.

Oh god, it is dancing isn't it. I blush, remembering the fantasy I was having about us dancing mere minutes before he knocked on my door. I look up at him, intrigued and then I look at him again, properly.

Loki is dressed in a pair of black trousers, a grey shirt and a lighter grey tie. He looks...great, in all honesty.

"Well, don't you look dashing" I smile at him and he blushes. "You certainly scrub up well"

"I could say the same to you" He smirks back at me, and then he pauses and looks at me. I try not to feel self-conscious as his eyes linger on my bare legs, the simple dress and finally my face.

"In fact, I will say the same to you" He says, eloquently "You look beautiful."

My eyes open slightly in surprise. Maybe it isn't just in movies.

Still holding my hand, Loki asks if I'm ready, which after picking up my bag and making sure I have everything, I am. We leave the room and head for the elevator. I can hear sounds from the dining room as we walk – it's feeding time I smile at the memory of this morning with Steve, Tony and Thor. They're great guys, they really are. I haven't seen Clint yet and I'm not sure how he's going to react when he finds out that Loki's taking me out on a date.

"Where are we going?" I ask as we take the lift down to the ground floor.

"That would be telling." He winks at me and a shiver runs all over my body. I'm surprised by the part of me wants to push him up against the walls of the lift and kiss him senseless, but I settle for softly squeezing his hand. He looks at me curiously and I smile at him. After a second, he smiles back.

The cold air blows my hair out of my face as we step outside. I shiver slightly – maybe I should have worn the tights? – and Loki looks at me.

"Are you cold?" He asks. I shake my head.

"I'm fine." I tell him.

"If I had brought a jacket, I would have given it to you." He tells me awkwardly.

"Don't beat yourself up about it." I can't help but smile "It's very sweet of you to offer though. Besides-" I add "I'll be fine in a few minutes."

Loki looks at me; eyebrow raised doubtfully and then slowly puts his arm around my shoulders. I shiver again –not from the cold – and he rubs my bare arm softly. It works, I'm definitely warm now.

I look up at him, smiling slightly when I see the soft redness of his cheeks. He doesn't look back at me though; he seems to be looking anywhere and everywhere else. For a moment I'm worried – have I done something? Is he embarrassed to be seen with me? – And then I remember that this is the first time Loki has been outside Stark Tower since he tried to take over it.

I kick myself internally – I should have considered this earlier, but I was too busy fussing over my clothes and hair and make-up. It must be difficult enough for him to be outside for the first time in months, let alone outside in a city he recently tried to destroy. He's walking with his head down as if worried people will recognise him. I know they won't. Gently, I take the hand that's draped over my shoulders and squeeze it softly. He looks at me in surprise and then looks away in embarrassment when he realises I know what's wrong. I squeeze his hand again, reassuringly and I the corners of his lips turn up slightly.

I feel so relaxed and at ease with Loki's arm around me that the 20 minute walk seems to pass in a second and I almost don't notice when he stops and gestures at a small restaurant. It's very small and secluded – I probably wouldn't have noticed it if I were on my own. I wonder how he knows about this place, considering he never leaves the tower.

We walk inside. Everything is in warm shades of orange and red and I feel warmer just looking around. There are a few couples here and two families, but the place is quiet, which is nice. I'm pleased to discover that I don't look at all out of place – in fact my chosen outfit is perfect.

We're seated near the back which I'm pleased about. The more seclusion the better as hopefully Loki will relax a little. As soon as the waitress leaves I turn to him.

"Why did you want to take me out?" I ask. Loki looks up in surprise and I curse myself inwardly. "Wrong choice of words." I tell him "I mean...you're obviously uncomfortable. This is the first time you've been out of Stark Tower isn't it?"

He nods at me slowly.

"So why?" I ask. I'm genuinely confused and a small part of me feels guilty because it's for me that he's putting himself through this. At the same time, a bigger part of me is pleased because it's about time he left the tower. This is something that had to happen eventually, so it's good that he's doing it sooner rather than later.

"Well" He begins, looking down at the table thoughtfully "I decided that it would be worth it, for you." I gaze at him in unhidden astonishment. "I mean, it'll be worth it if I can persuade you to take those shoes off my hands." He corrects himself. I glare at him before looking down at the menu, and he smirks at me in return.

We order our food and then conversation resumes while we wait.

"So how did you find this place?" I ask him, resting my chin on my hands. "I mean, I've walked down this street a few hundred times and I've never seen it before."

"Um..." Loki mumbles "Actually, Thor helped me."

"Thor?" I must look as surprised as I feel because Loki laughs at my expression.

"Yes" He smiles at me "He's been teaching me how to use a computer this week and how to use an internet."

"The internet." I correct him, smiling. He looks embarrassed at his mistake.

"_Natasha don't you know anything?" _I shout at myself internally _"Never correct a guy, ever. Not even guys from other planets who once tried to take over Earth."_

I reach across the table and take his hand, trying desperately to rectify my mistake. I squeeze it encouragingly.

"Go on?" I smile and after a moment he returns it.

"Thor's been showing me how to use The internet" He puts emphasis on the The "More specifically, he's shown me how to purchase thing's online – your shoes for example – and how to search for different places. It's amazing really, what you can find at a click of a button in this realm."

"Do you not have something similar on Asgard?" I ask him and he shakes his head.

"In Asgard we spend a lot of time improving and gaining new skills." He tells me "My people have no time for the internet. As a Prince, I had even less time than the rest of them."

"What kind of skills?" I ask. I love the expression on his face when he talks about Asgard – he looks so passionate.

"Fighting mostly, of course." He tells me "And instrument playing, singing, painting and...dancing."

"huh." I reply. Suddenly a memory pops into my head "So the other day, after I shouted at you and you came to get Thor and then later outside your room you had the laptop – that's what was going on?"

"Very observant of you Natasha" Loki smiles.

"Well, I am a secret agent you know" I tell him in a matter of fact tone and Loki laughs.

"I'm very aware of that" he counters.

"So that's how you got the shoes?" I ask and he nods in confirmation. "There's just one more thing that doesn't make sense."

"And that is...?" he presses.

"Where did you get the money to pay for them?" I ask carefully. Some guys can get so touchy over money; you've got to be careful when you question it. Apparently Loki isn't one of those guys because he answers almost immediately.

"Your boss, the one with a missing eye-" he starts.

"Nick Fury" I inform him and he nods.

"He has been paying my brother to keep me" Loki says. I don't question it, it makes sense. "Thor does not want or need the money – he says that he has enough of it anyway, and he doesn't like the idea of being paid to take care of his little brother, as he would have happily done it for free. So, he gives me the money."

"That's actually a very good idea." I reply.

"It was Thor's idea." Loki nods in agreement. "It seems that Earth inspired him the first time he came here, and since then he has come up with many good ideas. He will make a great king on day."

"Did you ever wish you could be king?" I ask, curiously.

"I used too." Loki replies, his voice laced with honesty "at first it was because I felt I could do better than Thor. Then when I discovered my true...heritage, I felt that I had been overlooked unfairly and deserved my chance to rule, my chance to make the man who brought me up proud." I squeeze his hand sympathetically and he smiles at me and continues. "After that I was angry and confused. I didn't know who – or what - I was, and I had been lied to my whole life. I wanted a new identity, to be known as someone great. That's why I tried to take over Earth. But that's not what I want now. I still don't know who I am, but I've recently decided that my identity is something I can learn over time. I know now that my father and mother have always been proud of me and though admittedly I miss Asgard, I understand that my banishment is necessary."

There's not much I can say after that speech, but before I can think of anything our food arrives and there's silence while we eat. After about 10 minutes, Loki looks up at me.

"So now that I've told you a little about myself" He smirks "I have some questions for you."

"Shoot" I smirk at him confidently, though inside I'm so nervous I can barely eat. What does he want to know?

"What was that music that was playing the night you left your device in the gym?" He asks and I blink in surprise. I was expecting deep personal questions, not this.

"That was the introduction to a ballet called Swan Lake." I tell him.

"It was beautiful." He tells me and I feel a shiver run over my skin as I recall him telling me the same thing when he gave my iPod back to me.

"It is" I nod in agreement. "Swan Lake is my favourite ballet."

"What is it about?" He asks me, taking a bite of his food.

"Well..." I gather my thoughts "It's about a Prince who is being forced to get married. He's upset about this so he goes hunting in the woods and he starts hunting a flock of swans. He reaches a lake where he sees a beautiful woman – she's a princess and her name is Odette. They fall in love straight away and they dance and she tells him how she was captured by an evil sorcerer and a spell was cast on her so that every day she turns into a swan and every night she becomes a woman again. The prince tries to tell her he loves her, which will break the spell but the sorcerer turns up and stops him. The prince threatens to kill the sorcerer but Odette stops him because if the sorcerer dies before the spell is broken, Odette will be a swan forever."

I pause and glance at Loki to see his reaction and to my surprise he's hanging on every word.

"The prince then has to return home to attend a ball. The sorcerer sends his own daughter Odile to the ball as well. He uses his magic to make Odile look exactly like Odette except she wears black while Odette wears white. Odile goes to the ball and the prince mistakes her for Odette and announces to everyone that he loves her and wants to marry her. Of course, that's when the real Odette turns up."

I stop again.

"How does it end?" Loki asks. He genuinely wants to know which is a surprise. Most guys would be bored to death by now.

"Well, there are a few different endings." I tell him. "In the original the prince apologises to Odette, who forgives him and following a fight with the sorcerer where the Prince breaks one of his wings the spell breaks and they live happily ever after. In another ending the prince loses the fight and the sorcerer wins, or they both die and Odette is left there doomed to be a swan forever and to mourn the prince. The most common version is that because he declared his love to the wrong woman the prince can never break the spell so they both jump into the lake together and die."

"How tragic." Loki says. I glare at him, assuming he's being sarcastic but the expression on his face is one of genuine sadness.

"That's not the saddest ending, in my opinion." I say softly. "In some versions, Odette realises that the spell can never be broken now that the prince has declared his love to Odile, so knowing that this could be her last moments as a human she jumps into the lake and kills herself."

"Have you ever seen it?" Loki asks me and I shake my head.

"When I lived in Russia, I went to see many ballets, but I never had chance to see Swan Lake." I tell him "Not even in my other memories- the one's that aren't real. I've seen videos of performances though, and I know every dance in the ballet myself, but I've never seen it live."

"Is that something you'd like to do someday?" Loki asks me.

"Yes." I tell him truthfully "In fact, the only thing I'd like to do more is dance it myself. Though for a while I thought I had been a professional ballerina at one point, I've never actually danced on stage. If I could do it, just once, I would die happy."

Loki smiles at me and I blush suddenly. I never tell people this much about myself especially that part of me. Imagine the ridicule if the boys found out.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention anything about my dancing to Thor or any of the guys." I tell him awkwardly. Loki smiles and reaches over, brushing a runaway strand of hair out of my eyes.

"My lips are sealed."

**A/N**

**Three cheers for the longest chapter so far!**

**What did you guys think? R&R**

**Sorry for any OOC-ness, and any mistakes I may have made re. The Swan Lake story. Hope you all liked it!**

**CaffinH**


	13. Lips to hands and words to hearts

Chapter Thirteen

Our walk back to Stark Tower is not as quiet as our walk to the small little restaurant I know will always have a small place in my heart.

"You know, I had you all wrong." I tell Loki as we walk. We're holding hands and I've gotten so used to it this evening that I don't feel nervous about it at all. It feels comfortable.

"Oh?" He asks, smirking down at me "How so?"

"I thought you'd be very...grand" I tell him and he looks confused. "I mean, I expected you to take me to some massive extravagant restaurant." I elaborate and he frowns.

"Is that what you would have preferred?" He asks and I roll my eyes.

"Not at all." I tell him and he smiles in relief. "I much prefer what we did to be totally honest. Actually, when you said that it might require a fair bit of walking earlier I thought you were going to take me dancing."

"I considered it" He tells me and I look up at him "But I decided not to."

"Why?" I ask, curiously "Are you a bad dancer?" I tease and he glares at me.

"I thought it might be a bit personal for a first date." He tells me "and I know you don't like to dance in front of people, I wasn't sure if that was in front of all people, in front of your team or just in front of me." I gaze up at him, touched by this thoughtfulness. "And I'll have you know that I am a magnificent dancer." He adds the corner of his lips turning up into a sexy smirk and I blush.

"Oh are you now?" I smirk back at him and judging by the pink tinge to his cheeks my smirk is just as sexy as his. "Prove it" I raise my eyebrow confidently.

"I would..." He tells me "But we're home."

I look up at Stark Tower all lit up at night and I'm surprised by how disappointed I am.

"Next time." He promises, standing in front of me.

"There's going to be a next time?" I ask, suddenly very nervous that he's going to say no.

"Do you want there to be?" He smiles, but I can see he's nervous.

"Yes." I answer after a second and his smile turns into a grin.

"Then yes, there will be a next time." He informs me.

We walk inside the building and over to the elevators. It's almost 11pm so the chances are most of the guys are in their rooms or watching TV in the sitting area. I take a moment to feel relieved – I know I'll have to do the whole girly gossip thing with Tony and Bruce tomorrow (though he doesn't look it Bruce is just as much of a gossip as Tony) – but I don't want to deal with it tonight. Right now I want to go back to my room and lay on my bed and have girly daydreams about tonight. The doors to the elevator's open with a quiet buzz and Loki and I step out. As I predicted I can hear male voices coming from the sitting area.

"Thank you for tonight" I grin at Loki and he smile in return.

"Until next time, Natasha." He replies, taking my hand and pressing his lips up against it softly. I shiver, wishing those lips would press themselves just as softly against my lips and I turn bright red when I see Loki gazing me and I know he knows exactly what I'm thinking.

But he doesn't kiss me. Instead he smirks and decides to leave me in anticipation before turning and walking away. I stand there until I hear a door close before sighing in happiness and slight discontent and turning toward my own room, but instead I find myself walking into a solid form. Looking up I find myself gazing into the angry blue eyes of Clint.

"Hey" I greet him but he just glares at me. "What's wrong?" I ask, confused and that seems to be when he snaps.

"What's wrong!" He mutters angrily but quietly. He doesn't want the guys to hear us – after bruising me last week, he knows he's in trouble if he's seen arguing with me again so soon. "What's wrong with you?"

"Excuse me?" I say, my temper rising. Not all red heads have big tempers, but I certainly do. Though it usually takes a lot more to annoy me.

"What are you doing, going out with him?" He seems to shout quietly.

"I don't think it's any of your business!" I retort. He's my best friend, it is his business to a point but how dare he appear and ruin one of the best nights I've had in a long time. I turn and storm off towards my room but as I reach the door Clint grabs my arm and turns me around angrily.

"It is my business Tash." He tells me and I glare at him "You're fraternising with the enemy!"

"For God's sake Clint!" I cry out in frustration "This isn't a film or something! And Loki is not the enemy. He's done bad thing, fine, but he's been punished for his crime."

"Are you forgetting what he did to me?" Clint glares at me "He messed with my mind, made me forget who I was. He made me try to kill you!"

"I know that!" I tell him "I haven't forgotten. But he's sorry for that, and maybe if you calmed down and actually spoke to him you'd realise that. But he's been punished for what he did to all of us – don't you feel sorry for him? Sitting alone all day in that room? That is a sentence far worse than his crime."

There's a moment of silence where Clint seems to gather his thoughts and I catch my breath. I think I hear something from around the corner but when I look I don't see anything. I turn my attention back to Clint as he begins to speak.

"Go out with me." He asks. I look at him in shock.

"What?" I ask. I must have misheard him.

"Oh, so you'll go out with that freak but you won't go out with me?" Clint glares at me.

"Loki is not a freak." I glower "In fact, he's a very nice man and I enjoy his company."

"Oh, so he's a nice murderer." Clint mimics.

"So everyone who's killed someone should live their lives like that?" I ask him, eyebrow raised "Well then, you and I have some serious adjustments to be making to our lives."

"Look, I'm not arguing about this with you." Clint retorts "Answer me. Why won't you go out with me."

"Why are you asking me?" I reply and he looks at me in surprise.

"Never mind." He mutters angrily under his breath. "I'm tired. Talk to you tomorrow Tash." And he walks away leaving me standing there, confused.

Why would Clint ask me out? He's been acting so strange lately, but then I suppose so have I. He's so obsessed with this Loki thing he just want to prove that I'm still his friend. But I can't go out on a date with Loki and then go out with Clint, even if going out with Clint is just a friends thing. Can I?

"I give up." I mutter, unlocking my bedroom door and falling into bed. That night when I wake up early, Loki isn't in the gym waiting for me and again I'm disappointed by this.

The next day I decide to continue on my quest to get Loki out of his room by bringing him food. After checking it with Thor first, who merely raises an eyebrow and nods, I pick up some food and start towards Loki's room, ignoring Tony's teasing of "Date must have gone well if he gets breakfast in bed" and such.

I knock lightly on Loki's door and he answers immediately. In fact, he answers so quickly I'm surprised.

"Good morning." I smile at him, but he just looks at me. "I brought breakfast today."

Loki looks at me, takes the food and places it on his desk next to his drawings. He doesn't say anything and he looks a little...irate.

"Are you okay?" I ask and am surprised when he rounds on me, green eyes flashing angrily.

"Why should you care?" He snaps and it's like he's in the glass dome and I'm outside interrogating him all over again.

"What do you mean?" I frown, crossing my arms defensively. Why is he being like this?

"Why should you care?" He repeats glaring down at me. "Or do you just feel sorry for me?"

My mouth opens and it takes me a minute to understand. It's all fitting together now, the noise I heard when I was arguing with Clint, his behaviour, what he must have assumed from what I said.

"Loki." I say, looking down in shame "I didn't mean it like that."

"Yes, well." He glares at me "Feel free to elaborate on what you did mean."

"I meant" I start, gritting my teeth together angrily. I know I've offended him but he's being rude. "I meant that you don't deserve your punishment and I'm sorry that you spend your days in here doing nothing and speaking to no one. I was trying to get Clint to understand how I could overlook your past."

"Of course." Loki laugh's sarcastically "That makes perfect sense."

"Loki, I didn't go out on a date with you because I felt sorry." I tell him in exasperation "I went out with you because for reasons I can't remember while you're being a complete ass, I like you."

"Well, I am sorry for taking up your oh-so-important time by being an ass" Loki retorts. "I won't take up any more, Agent Romanoff."

His use of my last name hurts more than when he closes the door in my face.

Turning around in shock I feel my eyes fill with tears and I blink them away furiously. No one, especially not some guy I went on one date with who turned out to be a total ass makes me cry. Storming off around the corner I march past the boys who consider stopping me but then don't after seeing the 'leave me alone' expression on my face. I knock on Clint's door and then without waiting for an answer, walk in.

Clint is sitting on his bed in just his boxers and he gasps as I walk in and covers himself up. I roll my eyes – it's nothing I haven't seen before.

"Tash, what are you doing?" he gasps, embarrassed.

"When do you want to go out?" I ask.

"What?" he stares at me as if I've grown another three heads.

"When do you want to go out?" I repeat.

"Um...tonight?" He asks and I nod.

"Fine." I reply "See you downstairs at 7."

And I storm off back to my room, even though I know deep down in my gut that this is a very bad idea.

**A/N**

**To all my readers, I'm sorry for the argument! It killed me to write them all happy and then make them argue. Please don't hate me!**

**Hope you're all enjoying and I'll try and update soon.**

**CaffinH :D**


	14. Expensive Restaurant's and Storming Out

Chapter Fourteen

I spend most of the day working out and interchanging between imagining Loki's face on the punch bag and then feeling guilty and trying to erase him from my memories. But he won't go away, everything reminds me of him. It's a little ridiculous. I start eating an apple at lunch only to throw it away when I can't stop comparing the colour of it to his eyes.

At 4pm I decide to go and decide what to wear and I run into Clint for the first time since this morning. He smiles at me.

"Going to get ready?" He asks and I nod, smiling even though my stomach is filled with guilt. I'm not cheating on Loki by doing this. In fact, I'm looking forward to this. It's been a long time since I've had dinner with a friend, and Clint's my best friend. It should be a good night.

"Dress up, okay?" he tells me and I stare after him. Dress up? Where are we going?

After a quick shower I dry my hair and tie it up high so that my hair curls down my back but doesn't cover my face. After some contemplation I decide on a dark green dress – nothing to do with Loki! – which is long and simple other than the long cut up the side reaching to about halfway up my thigh and showing a lot of leg when I walk. It's perfect – dressy enough without being too provocative. At least I hope it isn't too provocative.

I slip on the same simple black heels I wore on my date with Loki before changing my mind and putting on higher black sandal heels. They look nicer with the dress. Barely any make up later and a light black jacket and I'm ready to go. I practically run to the elevator hoping not to run into anyone but instead I literally run into Steve.

"Sorry Cap." I apologise, shaking my head. I've been so clumsy lately; I must be out of practice.

"S'fine Nat" He grins his American grin at me. "You look nice"

"Thanks" I smile and he winks at me.

"Another date with Loki?" He asks and I shake my head.

"No, I'm going out for dinner with Clint." I sigh and Steve frowns.

"But I thought you were dating Loki?" He asks.

"I am." I tell him "Well, I was. We had a bit of an argument."

"So what's this with Clint?" Steve shakes his head at me "Are you trying to make Loki jealous? Because if you are that's wrong Nat."

"Not that it's any of your business" I snap – why is everyone on my back lately! – "but no. Clint asked if I wanted to go to dinner with him and I said yes, as a friend. There's nothing wrong with that at all."

There's a moment of silence then Steve sighs.

"Sorry Nat." He apologises "I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions."

"No, I'm sorry Steve." I sigh, leaning against the wall and burying my face in my hands "I've just been so stressed lately. I need a bit of time out with my friend, and Clint offered."

"Don't get mad at me again okay?" Steve begins and I look at him with an expression that clearly reads 'I guarantee nothing.' "Are you sure Clint knows it's just as friends?"

"Why would he think otherwise?" I frown and Steve shakes his head.

"Never mind." He mumbles awkwardly.

"Come on, just tell me." I ask, frustrated. What does he know that I don't?

"It's not my place to say Nat." Steve looks at me pleadingly and I nod. I'll let it go, for now. Maybe I can beat it out of Clint over dinner.

"Okay." I glare at him in suspicion. "I have to go okay? I'll see you later."

"Have a good night" Steve smiles again and I smile back. No matter how stressed I am by this whole thing Steve's smile is contagious. "And Nat?" He calls me back and I turn to look at him "You really do look nice."

I grin at him. It's always good to be complimented.

"Thanks Cap" I grin and I continue on my way.

Clint's already waiting for me downstairs and he looks me up and down appreciatively as I walk towards him.

"Nice" He whistles at me and I roll my eyes at him, slapping him playfully.

"Where are we going?" I ask as Clint waves down a cab.

"Le Bernardin." He tells me and I stare at him

"That's a really expensive place." I point out and he rolls his eyes.

"So?" he says "It's not like we can't afford it."

I shrug. It's a fair point.

We talk on the way to the restaurant and over dinner about pretty much everything. It's a lot of fun – like having my old friend back.

"We should do this more often." Clint tells me and I nod in agreement. "Would you like that?"

"Yeah." I answer casually "It's been fun. It's always good to catch up, I feel like we haven't spoke properly in forever."

"I know, Tash." He takes my hand across the table and I freeze. Clint's holding my hand? Why is Clint holding my hand, Clint isn't supposed to hold my hand.

"I've been meaning to talk to you for a while." He says awkwardly and I sit there shocked. "But I've been avoiding it. But all this stuff with Loki woke me up so I decided to take the hint."

"Hint?" I ask and he looks up at me.

"Yeah." He says smiling "I mean, it's a relief to know you feel the same way about me, I just wish you'd told me instead of making me jealous by dating the freak."

"Clint." My teeth clench together. He looks up at me in surprise as I take my hand away from his. "I'm not dating Loki – yes Loki, not freak – to make you jealous."

"What?" He sits back, laughing "Why else would you be dating him?"

"Because he's an interesting guy and I genuinely like him?" I say angrily.

"C'mon now Tash, we both know you've got feelings for me." He says.

"Yes, I do." I gaze at him, my anger ebbing away slightly. "But those feelings don't go beyond friendship. I'm sorry Clint, I didn't realise you felt anything other than friendship for me. If I'd know I wouldn't have come out."

"So this has all been a waste of time?" Clint snaps at me angrily "Time, effort and money?"

"Well, I was having fun just having dinner with a friend." I retort "I'm sorry I've wasted your time, effort and money."

I stand, throwing some money from my purse down on the table.

"That's right, go running back to the freak." Clint mutters under his breath as I start to walk away. Furious, I turn around and grab the front of his shirt and he stares up at me in shock.

"He is not a freak. He is a kind, decent person who has committed no less crime that me or you." I tell him, my tone low and dangerous. "And right now I'd prefer his 'freakish' company than stay here even one more second with a judgemental prick like you."

And with that I storm out.

Conveniently there's a cab waiting just outside, and I get inside, almost ripping the door off the hinges in anger. Noting my mood, the driver is silent the entire journey home, which gives me time to think about what just happened.

Clint likes me.

I mean, he _likes_ me.

How could I not know? I'm the black widow, I'm meant to be able to understand a person's entire personality, know everything they know, feel everything they feel by a twitch of the eyebrow or the bite of the lips. How could I not know that my best friend feels that way about me?

And more importantly, how could I not realise he could be such a dick?

I sigh as we pull up outside Stark Tower and I pay the driver. I shiver as I step out of the cab – I left my jacket at the restaurant in my hurry to leave. Damn, that was one of my favourites.

I walk inside quickly, my heels clicking loudly on the empty lobby floor and my dress flying behind me due to the speed I'm walking. I just need to get to my room and lock the door and think. Or not think. As long as I'm in my room, I'll be happy.

I tap my foot against the floor in frustration as I wait for the lift. Why is it taking so long? When it finally does arrive, I press the button for our floor quickly and lean against the back wall, eyes closed.

"_You'll be there soon Natasha._" I tell myself, rubbing my temples. I feel a headache coming on.

Imagine my surprise when the elevator doors open and Loki stands there.

"Hello Natasha." He greets me and I don't answer. I'm still a bit angry with him. I step out of the elevator before the doors close – admittedly I did consider just staying in there, but I'm the black widow and I will not run away from anything. Not even cute guys. Especially not cute guys!

"Natasha." Loki calls and I turn around.

"What, Loki?" I ask quietly. I don't have the energy for another telling off.

"I wanted to apologise." He says, walking forward and standing in front of me. "And give you these."

He hands me a box – the ballet shoes I guess.

"There's no way I'm going to persuade you to send these back is there?" I sigh, a small smile playing on my lips.

"Not at all." He smirks and I smile.

"Thank you." I stand on tiptoe and kiss his cheek softly. Loki's eyes widen in surprise but he doesn't comment. Suddenly he notices what I'm wearing.

"You look amazing Natasha." He says, eyes wide. Then he blinks, looking confused "Why do you look amazing? Where have you been?"

"Tash!" A shout comes from the elevator. Loki and I both turn to look and see Clint standing there. Clint looks at me and then shoots me an torn – half angry, half apologetic look – before anger wins and he storms off.

"You have been out with him?" Loki glares at me.

"No. Yes. Kindof." I stutter, panicked. Just as things were sorting themselves out something else has to go wrong. "Look, Loki it was supposed to be just a dinner between friends."

"Supposed to be?" He glares

"For me it was." I reply "For him, not so much."

"I'm sure." Loki mutters in irritability "Goodbye."

And once again I watch him walk away.

Why can't anything just go right?

**A/N sorry to do this to you guys! Next chapter should be up soon, before the end of the weekend I hope, but no guarantees. Let me know what you think?**

**Also, out of curiosity, what are people's favourite bits from the story so far?**

**CaffinH**


	15. Angry crying and Awkward Interruptions

Chapter Fifteen

Why can't anything just go right?

I run back to my room, dress flying out wildly behind me and shoes tapping loudly on the floor as I go. It's very lucky I don't run into anyone as I do, because it isn't until I get back to my room, slam the door behind me and lean up against the door, breathing hard that I realise my eyes are filled with tears.

I try blinking them away but after a second I realise blinking so much is only making it worse and I stand in front of the mirror, staring in surprise at my overflowing eyes and wet cheeks. I don't remember the last time I cried. Not since I was a child as far as I know.

I am Agent Natasha Romanoff. The Black Widow. I have saved the world in the past 12 months but it's this series of unfortunate and confusing events that has me crying?

This is not okay.

Furiously wiping my eyes, I storm out of my room leaving the door wide open and march to Loki's room. I bang heatedly on the floor and Loki opens it in surprise.

"Natasha." He greets me, eyes widening in shock and anger when I storm past him into his room.

"What gives you the right to walk away from me like that?" I shout at him. He gazes at me and then closes the door quietly. "What gives you the right to judge me?"

"What gave you the right to go on a date with another man?" Loki questions me and I glare at him in exasperation.

"It wasn't a date!" I shout back, my hands pulling at my hair in frustration.

"Apparently it was for Agent Barton." Loki replies angrily and I sigh.

"Apparently it was." I agree with him "But I didn't know that when I agreed to go out with him. I can't remember the last time Clint and I spoke without arguing and I just wanted a night out with a friend."

Frustrated, I pull my hair out of the bobble, letting my red curls spill down my back. I feel warm – too warm – and it's frustrating me even more.

"If it was not a date from your perspective, as you claim" Loki replies eloquently, his long fingers twitching angrily at his sides "Then why are you dressed so provocatively?"

"Clint told me to dress up." I reply, eyes flashing angrily "What I'm wearing was appropriate for the place we went."

"And where was that?" he glares

"Some big restaurant" I shake my head, gesturing wildly "Why does it matter, Loki?"

"I am sure you enjoyed that." Loki smirks at me and I remember telling him how I preferred small places the night before. I don't reply, just glare at him, perplexed by his change of mood. This man is so exasperating! He walks forward and stands right in front of me and in my strappy sandals I'm almost as tall as him. He sighs and gently tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear, his fingers brushing my face as he does.

I shiver, leaning into his hand before remembering that I have to be strong and I can't – wont! – let him confuse me anymore. I stop him and push his hand away, storming away from him towards the door.

"I can't play these games any more Loki." I turn to face him, hand on the cool door handle. I still feel far too warm and the handle feels particularly cold against my skin. "I don't care if you are the God of Mischief, I'm done."

"Natasha." Just hearing him say my name is enough to stop me from storming out. I lean my head against the door and sigh. I don't know what to do and my head is really starting to hurt. I turn around to tell him that this is it, I've had enough, I can't deal with all this confusion any more but the words catch in my throat when I turn and find myself eye-to-lips with the trickster.

Everything stops. My heart, my breathing, everything. I tremble slightly and lick my lips nervously.

"Natasha." He says again and I tear my eyes away from his soft-looking lips to gaze into his eyes. They're greener than I've ever seen them before and I'm hypnotised.

"No more games." He says softly and then just like I've imagined a thousand times before he leans forward and presses his cool lips against mine. They're softer than I ever could have imagined and he's kissing me so gently he could be a ghost.

I can't believe I'm kissing Loki.

I lean into the kiss ever so slightly and his hand lightly strokes up my arm and gently cups my face. His fingers are freezing and it's like melting ice on my burning skin. I moan against his lips and then again when he softly licks my bottom lip. Parting my lips slightly his cold tongue, he teases me by just ever-so-slightly touching mine but withdrawing before I can really taste him.

Suddenly, I can't take it anymore. This is torture of the worst kind and that's coming from me.

Wrapping my fingers in his long hair I take advantage of Loki being distracted to turn him around, push him up against the wall _hard_ and to continue kissing him, but this time on my terms. I hold his hands pinned up against the wall but he doesn't struggle. In fact, he seems to be quite enjoying it. This time there's no teasing and no hesitation or awkwardness as he moves his lips against mine. He gently bites my lower lip and I moan loudly – God, I hope Thor isn't in his room right now. The moan seems to encourage Loki who appears to be bored with being dominated because he turns me around and pushes me up against the wall with a loud bang. He kisses me hard again, his freezing cold hand stroking my bare leg which is wrapped around his waist. It's like I'm surrounded by ice and I'm so cold but so _hot_...

And this is the moment where my life decides it hates me.

There's a loud thump as Loki's door flies open and Steve, Tony, Thor Bruce and Clint all run in at the same time only to freeze when they see the compromising position Loki and I are in. Our hair's are complete messes, I have marks on my leg where Loki is still holding my bare thigh up against him, our lips are swollen and bruised and we're breathing hard. It's obvious what we've been doing so rather than say anything I busy myself with detaching my leg from Loki's icy grasp and trying not to blush too much.

This is easier said than done when after five minutes of all the avengers staring at us with mixed expressions Steve covers his face with his hands and shouts out "My eyes!" before running out of the room dramatically. I can't help but giggle at that and Loki looks down at me in amusement.

"I think you just stole Steve's innocence." Bruce comments blankly, staring after Steve in shock and Tony nods in agreement. Thor is just looking at Loki and I with an amused expression. He raises an eyebrow at me and I blush deeply and look away. I notice that Clint is nowhere to be seen and I feel briefly sad until Loki gently takes my hand and squeezes it. Looking up at him, I know he understands (perhaps not fully, but he's trying too and that's what matters) and I squeeze his hand back in thanks. Thor watches our silent conversation with a happy smirk that almost rivals his brothers.

"Okay kiddies" Tony grins handsomely at us "We apologise for the interruption but we thought you two were fighting due to the loud banging but we'll know better next time" he winks at us and placing his hands on Bruce and Thor's shoulders he firmly guides them from the room. "Play safe!" he calls, shutting the door behind him.

I bury my face in Loki's shirt and let out the giggles that I've been holding in ever since the awkward situation occurred. I look up in surprise when I feel Loki's chest move beneath mine and realise he's laughing too.

"I don't think I've heard you laugh before" I smile at him and he grins down at me.

"I admit it's a recent development." He tells me and I smile, lacing my fingers through his. "Thank you" he says suddenly and I look up into his deep green eyes.

"For what?" I frown and his lips turn up at the corners.

"For making me laugh" he replies, leaning in and softly kissing me once again.

**A/N**

**It's finally happened! Woohoo!**

**You have no idea how long I've been dying to write the chapter, which neatly coincides with the release of the Avengers on DVD :D –happy- Cannot WAIT to get it.**

**Now that you've read this chapter, I have to give you the bad news that I'm back in uni full time now so I won't be updating as much. I'm going to try my best for once a week (though I'd like to do more, and will update more often if I have the time) but once a week is the best I can guarantee.**

**Hope you guys are enjoying and I hope you enjoy watching the film, I know I will be :D**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed on the last chapter – reviews make my day a little bit brighter every time so please keep that in mind when you see the little box that offers you the chance to leave a comment ;)**

**Keep reading!**

**CaffinH 3 **


	16. Sherlock Holmes and Slippery Ice

Chapter Sixteen

Jerking awake I sit straight up in bed and reach for my gun. Instead of the cool metal weapon my fingers come into contact with soft, cold fingers and I jump out of bed in panic before realising it's only Loki.

I relax, moving from my crouched position on the floor and standing up. The handsome God of mischief is lying in my bed on his stomach, his arm reaching over my side of the bed breathing softly. I relax my body and try to breath quietly so as not to wake him. I consider crawling back into bed and wrapping Loki around me like a blanket, but I know that tonight that won't help me, so instead I reach under the bed and grab the box with my ballet shoes in it and I leave the room, closing the door softly.

I walk briskly to the gym, my feet padding softly against the carpeted floor as I walk. It doesn't take long to lace up my shoes and then the music is playing and I'm dancing to whatever comes on my iPod.

It's been about a week since that first kiss with Loki. Thing have progressed quickly between us since then. I didn't see the need to wait before sleeping together and he didn't particularly want to wait either – I mean, he may be a God, but he's still male. I find that waiting before sleeping together tends to make things awkward and tense, and there's always that chance that you'll get drunk one night and creep into his room and you won't even be able to remember it (that's only happened to me once by the way.)

We've been the source of Tony's teasing all week now. Every time I see him it's been "Loki and Red, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a Red with a baby carriage!"

As a result Tony how has many bruises on his arms and torso – most of them are from me. Loki's still a bit shy, but he's come out of the room at meal times now, he laughs at Tony's comments about us and last night he even watched a film with all of us.

The problem is that Loki and Clint seem to be opposing magnets. As Loki comes out of his room, Clint hides away more. It's like they're changing positions. I've knocked on Clint's door on countless occasions and even shouted through the door at him a few times. I tend to start off apologetic and then get angry when he doesn't reply and why should I apologise anyway, as my friend he should be happy for me.

Clint never replies and Bruce and Steve have had to pull me away from breaking down his door a few times.

Loki always comforts me afterwards. He tells me that Clint is just upset that I didn't chose him, and jealous that I chose Loki instead. This makes sense, judging from what Clint told me he felt about me that night we went out. I still feel guilty for going out on what apparently was supposed to be a date with Clint the night Loki and I got together, but he tells me not to worry about it and that he understands as long as it genuinely wasn't meant to be a date. He's still worried that I'm going to leave him and run off to Clint and it surprises me that someone like Loki who seems so confident in himself can be so worried and jealous.

I sigh as I dance to some classical music that Loki recommended I put on my 'device' a few days ago.

I wish they could get along. I've never really been in this position. I haven't had a boyfriend in years, and I guess a part of me always expected to end up with Clint at some point. It just never happened. I was never interested in him in that way and I didn't think he was either. We've never slept together and I've never wanted too.

If Clint was in love with someone I didn't like I would still try. Although I suppose it is different for him, after all it's not just a case of he doesn't like Loki. He also is in love with me.

I doubt that he actually is in love with me though. I think that mostly he just figured eventually we'd get together – just like I did – and me getting into a relationship with Loki scared him into thinking he'd be alone forever.

It's difficult for a man and a woman to be friends without those kind of feeling developing at some point or another. I just never expected it to happen to us. He's my brother more than anything.

I miss Clint. A lot.

I've also missed dancing this week. Since being with Loki I haven't slept alone at all and I haven't had a single nightmare. I'm not sure if this is specifically because of Loki, or if it's just knowing someone's there, or if it's even just coincidence. All I know is I've enjoyed the full night's sleep I've been getting recently.

Except tonight where I dreamt of Clint stabbing me in my sleep for betraying him before killing Loki too.

I know it's a ridiculous dream to have and I have no doubts that it will never happen, but nonetheless, it's the first nightmare I've had in a while and it freaked me out.

Thinking about my nightmare just frustrates me and thinking about Clint is making me upset, so I decide to try and think about something else. My mind settles on a memory of Loki and me last night. Over dinner I mentioned that Loki had finished reading all the Sherlock Holmes books in under a week and Steve immediately plugged into the conversation in excitement. It turns out he's a massive Sherlock Holmes fan and after dinner he suggested we watch the new film. Loki agrees unexpectedly eagerly – I guess he enjoyed the books more than I expected – and too my surprise so do the other Avengers (not including Clint unfortunately). Even Pepper takes a break from work and joins us, and Thor isn't with Jane today so we're all present as the film starts. Sitting with Loki's arm around me and the guys making jokes and Pepper rolling her eyes at Tony, it feels like family – though admittedly I do glance towards the door more than one occasion in hope that Clint might join us. My family is not complete without him.

Loki seems to have been totally accepted into the gang. He even made a few jokes during the film, such as commenting that Sherlock Holmes in the film looked surprisingly like Tony.

"You're right!" I exclaimed when he announced this "I can't believe I never noticed that before."

"We look nothing alike." Tony rolls his eyes at us.

"You really do Tony" Steve comments and Bruce grins at him.

"I do not!" Tony scowls "I mean, look at his face. Practically clean shaven where as I have quite fashionable facial hair."

"I think Sherlock is quite handsome." Pepper comments and Tony turns to look at her.

"Hmm..." He thinks "I suppose I do look a lot like him now you've mentioned it...but I am not shaving!" he protests as we all shake our heads at him and Pepper kisses him lightly.

"As if I'd ask you to do such a thing" she laughs and he grins.

The song comes to an end and the memory fades along with my smile. I wish more than anything that Clint could have been there. He would have made some smart-ass comment about how clean-shaven or not Tony would still be ugly and he'd nudge me and grin before Tony protested and declared his handsomeness only to be cut off by Pepper's authoritive kiss.

I take off my shoes and put them away in their box – I will take great care of these shoes. I warm down and then suddenly exhausted, I practically crawl back to my – or mine and Loki's now I suppose – bedroom.

I place my hand on the metal door handle and jump away as though I've been scalded. But the handle isn't hot, it's freezing cold. I frown in confusion and try opening the door. There's a crunch, but the door barely budges.

This is strange, I knew I wouldn't have locked the door because Loki's in there. Unless he's locked me out but why would he do that. Pulling a face, I put the box with my shoes down on the floor and pulling down on the handle with one hand, I shove all my weight up against a door and wish a strange crunching the door opens and I fall forward, slipping unexpectedly and ending up on a heap on the floor.

I look up blushing, expecting Loki to be gazing at me in amusement, but it's too dark to see anything. I realise theres something wrong – it's too quiet in here, the noise should have woken Loki and it's so cold I can vaguely see my misty breath in front of me. Awkwardly clambering up from the floor, I reach for the light switch and turn the lights on and gaze in horror and astonishment at the sight before me.

I slipped on ice. The floor is covered in ice and snow, as is every available surface. The door was frozen shut, which is why it was so difficult to open and Loki lays on my bed in a similar position to how I left him covered in frost and breathing softly.

What is going on?

**A/N**

**I am SO sorry for how long it has taken me to update! I've been mentally busy and I've only today had five minutes to myself to write anything. But thanks to a certain reviewer I have been re-inspired :P so this is the result – sorry it's not long, but hopefully it's intriguing enough to keep you all interested. I'll try and put up another chapter soon!**

**Enjoy!**

**CaffinH 3**


	17. Breaking Ice and Closing Doors

"Loki?" I call over at the God of mischief's sleeping form. There's no reaction and I shiver - partly from cold, but mostly from a surprising sense of fear as I gaze at his still form. I can't even see if he's breathing from here.

Ignoring my bare feet on the icy floor I carefully walk across the room towards my frozen lover. Even with my impeccable balance skills I end up sliding most of the way. The ball of fear in my stomach strengthens the closer I get to him until it feels like a fist punching away at me from the inside. The thudding of my slightly faster-than-normal heart doesn't help - in fact it's beating so loudly I'm shocked that it hasn't woken him up.

When I do eventually reach him the skin from the soles of my feet have been torn away because I keep sticking to the ice. Cautiously, I tap Loki's shoulder softly, then again but to my horror the ice slowly frosts over his sleeping form, encasing him in a transparent prison.

Ignoring the frozen carpet, I slide across the room and run down the corridor, banging loudly on Thor's door. After a second there's no reply and I bang louder, but when there's still no answer I barge into the room and make my way over to the other resident God. He's snoring louder than thunder – no wonder he didn't hear me knocking – and I push him firmly.

"Thor!" I mutter and then repeat, louder over and over again until I'm shouting. "Thor, it's Loki!" I yell, and to his credit, Thor stops snoring and rolls over to look at me from bleary eyes.

"Lady Natasha?" He mumbles, rubbing sleep from his eyes with a muscular fist "What is wrong? Is it my brother?"

"Thor" I start, my eyes wide with panic. He sees this and sits up; alert at last "Something's wrong."

Thor grabs his hammer and stands and I let out a yelp, covering my eyes and turning away.

"Put some boxers on or something!" I gasp, turning beetroot red and Thor glances at me.

"Us Asguardians do not feel the need to wear boxes!" He declares "We have clothing."

"Well then put some on!" I gasp, frowning in embarrassment and worry. We don't have time for this.

After making sure Thor was adequately covered we rush off down the hall. My bedroom door is still wide open and Thor stops dead in his tracks when he sees the ice spreading from my room across the corridor.

"Brother!" He shouts – I have no idea how we haven't woken anyone up yet – before lunging into the room. He slips on the ice a few times, while I stand by the door. Though I want to go in and help Loki, I know somehow only Thor can help him right now. The thought fills me briefly with jealousy, before I tell myself to stop being so irrational.

Thor tries to shake Loki awake but he can't get to him through the ice.

"Everything okay Natasha?" I jump. I hadn't notice Steve standing beside me, I was too focused on Loki. I turn and bury my face in Steve's surprised chest.

"I don't know!" I admit. From just behind him I can see Clint's bedroom door is opened slightly and although it's too dark to inside the room, I know he's watching. I consider saying something – maybe we can finally sort things out – but then I remember what's going on with Loki and I know now isn't the time to worry about Clint.

"Brother!" I turn and look back into the room at Thor's shout and gasp when I see Thor raising his hammer high above his head.

"No, Thor!" I shout and try struggling against Steve who holds onto me tightly. If I was in control of my actions I could have twisted my way out of Steve's grasp, but in the state I'm in all I can do is struggle against his muscular arms and watch hopelessly as with a roar Thor brings his hammer down hard on Loki's sleeping form.

There's a thundering noise and I turn away to avoid being covered in sharp shards of ice. When I turn back Thor is lying on the floor and Loki is sitting up on the bed, breathing hard. He gazes around in confusion, his eyes fixing on me in Steve's arms.

"Loki! I gasp and finally Steve lets go of me. I run into Loki's arms, gasping and pulling away when my fingers touch his ice-cold chest.

"What has happened?" He asks slowly. Thor stands beside me, arms crossed over his bare chest.

"I'd like to know the same thing." Steve asks, stepping gingerly over melting shards of ice covering the carpet.

"I couldn't sleep so I went to the gym." I explain "When I came back, you were covered in ice. I couldn't touch you. I went to fetch Thor and he hit you with his hammer."

I turn and glare at Thor.

"Why'd you do that?" I snap at him and he looks at me in surprise.

"It worked, did it not?" He replies and I glare at him.

"That's not the point!" I retort "You could have killed him!"

"Natasha, this is hardly the first time my brother has hit me with his hammer." Loki points out and I glare at him.

_Thanks for being on my side. _I think. _Dick._

"Whatever." I glare at them both "so why did that happen?"

Thor shrugs and the three of us gaze at Loki for an answer.

"I do not understand it." He tells us, his eyes fixed on me. "I was dreaming and then I awoke to this commotion."

"What were you dreaming?" I ask him, curiously and he shakes his head at me slightly and I understand he had a nightmare too.

"Still, brother, that does not explain how you created this ice." Thor booms and Steve shushes him.

"We don't want to wake Bruce." He mutters quietly and then jumps when there's a light cough at the door.

"I was already awake." Bruce is standing there, his eyes scrutinising us from over his glasses. "What's going on."

Steve fills Bruce in while Thor and I look at Loki for more information.

"I guess my powers are returning." He tells us, running his hands through his long black hair.

"But brother, your powers were taken away by our father." Thor tells him "It cannot be that your powers are merely returning."

"Why can it not be?" Loki snaps and we all look at him in surprise "You're just worried that now I have my powers back that I'll try and take over again."

"No, brother that is not it." Thor begins to protest but Loki cuts across him.

"Why don't you go back to Odin and find out why he has apparently had this terrible lapse in judgement." Loki glares and Thor stiffens.

"I will return to Asgard." Thor announces, crossing his arms. "I will find out what is going on – not out of fear, brother, but out of concern."

Loki merely looks at Thor, scrutinising him with his green eyes before looking away, his shoulders slumped in defeat.

"You are right brother." Loki sighs and everyone gazes at him in shock, including Thor who looks as though he's about to have a heart attack. "Forgive me. Go to Asgard and talk to Odin."

Thor smiles and claps Loki on the shoulder.

"I shall leave in the morning." He announces, leaving the room to prepare.

"In the meantime, if you wouldn't mind I'd like to do some tests on Loki." Bruce asks and Loki looks at him in surprise and suspicion. "It could be that your body is not used to human illnesses and perhaps this is your body's reaction to something perfectly normal."

"He won't hurt you." I tell Loki quietly and Loki gazes and me and then nods at Bruce.

"When would you like to begin?" he asks quietly and Bruce looks at his watch.

"Tomorrow morning?" he asks and Loki nods in agreement. "Just come and get me when you wake up. I don't sleep much anyway." Bruce wanders away tiredly, readjusting his glasses as he goes.

"It's probably a good thing he doesn't sleep too much." Steve comments quietly "I wouldn't want to be the one to wake him up." And Steve wanders away too. Patting Loki lightly on the shoulder, I dash after the Captain quickly.

"Cap" I call him and he stops and turns.

"Natasha" He smiles, waiting for me to continue.

"I...um." I start, not sure how to get the words out. I'm not used to this kind of thing. "Thank you." I manage to blurt out and thankfully he understands what I mean so that I don't have to explain that I'm thanking him for helping me while Thor was helping Loki and for not telling everyone how weak I was in that moment.

"No problem Nat" He smiles, shortening my name for perhaps the first time. He nods at me and I smile before making my way back to my room where my wide-awake freezing boyfriend is waiting for me. I close the door behind me, and sit on the bed beside him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask and he shakes his head, knowing I mean the nightmare.

"Where were you?" He asks me, eyes wide and sad.

"I was dancing." I tell him "I couldn't sleep."

Loki looks at me and knows I dreamt too, but he simple nods, turns out the light and then pulls me into his arms as we lay down on the bed together. Neither of us sleep, both worried about the nights events and tomorrows appointment with Bruce and what Thor will discover when he returns to Asgard.

And even with all that to worry about my mind still always seems to find its way back to the image of Clints open door, imagining his eyes watching me accusingly.

**A/N again, I apologise for the delay. I really didn't consider how difficult writing two stories at the same time would be once I started work again and I am so sorry for keeping you guys waiting.**

**I wasn't totally happy with this chapter – Let me know what you guys think :) I hope you're all intrigued to see what's coming in future chapters.**

**CaffinH :)**


	18. Results and 'Revenge'

**A/N Before I start this chapter I would like to dedicate this chapter to Mistaken Magic as it is her birthday today! Happy Birthday! :D**

It's not long past 11am and Loki and I sit in Bruce's lab in Stark Tower. We're waiting for the results from Loki's tests – Bruce said he wouldn't be too long but it's already been fifteen minutes. The ball of nervousness in my stomach is growing and I hope Loki doesn't realise how worried I actually am. I suppose I didn't start worrying really until Loki and I went to say goodbye to Thor this morning. The worried God patted his dark haired brother on the shoulder and stared him in the eyes and I watched a million unsaid things pass between the two. It wasn't until then did I realise how worried Thor was and that scared me more than anything. Thor was perhaps the strongest of us all – other than the Hulk – and it scared me that a man so strong could be so scared. He truly loves Loki, but that much was obvious. It's his fear of losing Loki that I didn't realise was so prominent. I didn't think Thor could be afraid of anything.

But clearly he was. Before he left, he turned to me and gazed at me in a similar way that he had looked at his brother and I understood he meant for me to take care of Loki while he was away. I nodded at him, hoping that he would understand that in this silent exchange I was vowing to protect Loki with my life, if it came to that.

Of course, I doubt that it will. We don't know what's wrong yet. As Loki said, it could simply be that his powers are returning.

I jump and snap out of my thoughts when Loki takes my hand in his. I frown in worry when I feel how cold his skin is, but then I remind myself that his freezing temperature isn't exactly unusual.

"Natasha, there is no need to worry." Loki tells me eloquently.

"I'm not worried." I snap at him, reacting a little aggressively in my panicked attempt to hide how scared I really am. Loki chuckles and gestures at my nails which have been chewed to half their original size in the past fifteen minutes.

"You cannot trick me, my love." Loki smirks at me and I glare at him before turning away before he sees the worry cloud my face again. I gasp in surprise when suddenly I find myself sitting on the lap of the God of Mischief and I punch him playfully in the shoulder.

"You're the only man who can surprise me." I smirk at him, before taking advantage of the situation and wrapping my arms around his neck, kissing him softly.

"I am not a man, Miss Romanoff." Loki smirks in return "And you are the only woman – person – who has ever tricked me."

"I am?" I frown. "When?"

"Last year." Loki tells me, absently playing with a strand of my hair. I really need to get it cut. "When I was trapped on board S.H.I.E.L.D's air ship in the glass dome."

"Oh yes" I blink, remembering. I smirk at him suddenly "I believe you called me a 'quim'."

"A 'mewling quim' I think you'll find." He informs me and I roll my eyes.

"That was a very mean thing to say." I tell him slowly kissing his neck. I feel Loki tense and I smirk. "I think I deserve an apology." I tell him, biting his shoulder softly. The next thing I know I'm spun around so that I'm laying on Bruce's patient bed and Loki is on top of me.

"Apologise?" He smirks jokingly "To you? Never." He kisses my throat softly, up towards my ear before biting softly on my earlobe. Although I try not too I can't help but let out a quiet moan.

We both jump up at a loud cough coming from the doorway. I blush darkly at the sight of Bruce standing with his back towards us. The only skin I can see of him is the back of his ears which are a fiery beetroot red.

"Can I look?" He asks cautiously and Loki grins at the obvious embarrassment laced in my voice as I tell him he can. The doctor turns around slowly, looking relieved and amused at the same time by the situation we're in.

"Do you have the results Agent Banner?" Loki asks politely and Bruce waves away Loki's formal acknowledgement with an embarrassed gesture.

"Just Bruce is fine." He tells Loki as he flicks through the small stack of papers he's holding. The two have become rather good friends due to their conversations over meals. It seems Bruce is also a Sherlock Holmes fan.

I roll my eyes at the casual exchange between the two and tap my foot nervously against the floor. Loki looks at me and smiles positively in his usual confident way but I can see in his eyes that he's just as nervous at Bruce's idea that he is sick.

"Anyway, yes these are the results." Bruce says, finally looking up from his papers "and I'm pleased to announce you have a clean bill of health."

There's a moment of stunned silence.

"You mean there's nothing wrong?" I ask and Loki smirks confidently, obviously pleased at the news that so far he is invulnerable to mortal illness.

"Nothing at all." Bruce smiles and I can't help but smile again. I suppose I worked myself up so much since Bruce suggested the idea that I just assumed that there was definitely something wrong with Loki. But even through the happiness there's a shadow of fear still towering over me as I realise that this means we still don't know what's going on with Loki and why nights lasts events happened.

"Thank you Bruce." Loki says eloquently. "It was very...kind of you to offer to do these tests."

"No problem Loki" Bruce stutters in embarrassment of being thanked by none other than the God Loki. "You're one of us now." He smiles, confidently patting a very surprised looking Loki on the back. I smirk at him, seeing his obvious joy at being accepted into our group by another member of the Avengers radiating in his expression. He sees me smirking and tries to hide his cheerfulness, but neither of us can help but smile as we walk out of Bruce's lab and towards to elevators, his arm around my shoulders as I call back another thanks to Bruce.

As we step into the elevator Loki turns to me.

"I suppose I was right then." He tells me and I glance up at him in confusion.

"About what?"

"Regaining my powers." He replies and I nod.

"I suppose you were." I smile and Loki nods cautiously. It's obvious he wants to say something and although usually I am a patient woman I'm very curious to know what Loki could possibly be thinking that he's struggling to say.

"Spit it out trickster." I smirk, crossing my arms and he glances at me in surprise. When he realises I can sense his internal debate he chuckles and presses his lips lightly against mine.

"I will never be able to hide anything from those beautiful eyes, will I?" He asks rhetorically, but I shake my head in answer anyway, blushing at his compliment.

"I was wondering..." he begins, cautiously watching my expression. "I was wondering if the idea of me regaining my powers and returning to my former glory worries you."

"Oh" is the only reply I can muster. I didn't see that question coming. "Not really." I say and then realise by his patient expression that he wants me to elaborate.

"No, I don't think you're going to go all evil and try to take over the world again." I tell him and he sighs, smiling.

"You have such a way with words." He tells me before his expression once again becomes serious.

"Why?" He asks and I pause to think as the doors to the elevator slide open, signalling our return to the Avengers floor.

"Loki, when I look at you I don't see the man who tried to take over everything." I tell him after a moment, when I sense him becoming nervous at my silence "I see the man who loves reading and is a brilliant artist and who seems to very much like me. I see my...well, my boyfriend." I tell him and gaze at his handsome expression as we stop outside my room. "I know you don't want the same things now that you did when we first met, and knowing that is enough for me. Besides, I trust you."

I open the door and barely have time to step inside before Loki envelops me in his strong arms and lifts me clean off my feet. I gasp in surprise and then smile against his lips as he kisses me over and over again happily.

"What was that for?" I ask when he finally stops kissing me – although he's still carrying me and it doesn't look like he intends to put me down any time soon.

"For trusting me." He smiles genuinely. "You make me very happy, Miss Romanoff." he kisses me again. And again. And again, and suddenly the kisses are ones of need, not mere joy.

Loki kicks the door closed before carrying me over to the bed and laying me down on it, laying on top of me in a similar position to what we were in while waiting in Bruce's lab.

"Now, where were we before we were so rudely interrupted." He smirks down at me and I grin.

"I believe I was about to do this." I tell him, smiling evil before twisting us both around and straddling him, holding his hands above his head. I laugh at the expression of astonishment on his handsome features.

"That, my dear Loki, is called revenge." I grin "For calling me such a horrid name." He laughs at me and entwines his fingers in mine, pulling me towards him slowly and pausing, his lips almost brushing mine.

"I apologise profusely, Agent Romanoff." He tells me, his eyes focused on mine which are in turn gazing in longing at his smirking lips "I shall never again let at insult against you pass through my lips..."

"Shut up and kiss me" I growl, wrapping my fingers in his hair and pulling him towards me. He continues to smirk against my lips and I can't help but grin as he kisses away all my previous worries and fears. I can worry another day.

**A/N Hope you liked this chapter :)**

**It's quite lovey-dovey and doesn't really explain much about the Loki-freezing-everything-in-his-sleep thing but I'll get to that some other time :D hope you're all enjoying and thank you for everyone who's read and reviewed ^^**

**Please comment!**

**CaffinH**


	19. Emerald Eyes and Dancing in the Dark

Loki's green eyes meet mine and I'm filled with sadness at the slowly growing expression of fear and worry on his handsome features. It seems unbelievable that we've not been together long. That in fact a month ago I barely spared a thought for the God of mischief. And now...I know it's silly and it's only been a short amount of time but when he's sad, I'm distraught. It's like everything he feels hits me ten times as hard. I'm not entirely sure I like it, but I guess that's just what comes with being in lo-  
_'Don't say it._' I stop myself. I do NOT love Loki. I refuse to be in love with someone I've only been in a relationship with for a week - and an eventful week at that. It's too soon and I have never been one to indulge in a childish notion of 'love at first sight'. Even if the first time I saw Loki - all four of him surrounding a group of kneeling people dressed in his golden armour and green cape - my heart skipped a beat. Even at a distance I could admire his dark hair, his pale skin, his-  
"What are you thinking about?" a silky voice snaps me out of my reminiscing and I jump.  
"N-nothing." I reply and for the first time since our appointment with Bruce he smirks.  
"Oh really." He raises an eyebrow and I know I'm blushing.  
"Really." Even though my voice sounds strong he and I both know there's no conviction in my words. Loki's smirk widens.  
"I could make you tell me you know..." He says and my breath catches in my throat as he deliberately undresses me with his emerald eyes.  
"You could make me do nothing I didn't want to do." I tell him breathlessly. Loki leans in and I lean back against the chair, eyes wide. He moves forward so that I can feel his breath against my skin and runs his lips softly over my chin before resting barely a hairs width away from my lips.  
"Couldn't I?" he asks and I lick my lips nervously. He smirks again and moves away, his point proven and I groan in frustration. He sits down on his bed - we're in his room as my room still isn't quite dry - and he puts on his reading glasses before picking up a book. Narrowing my eyes at his casual behaviour after torturing me like that - and the glasses certainly don't help...the first time I saw him wearing them I practically dived on him (much to his surprise and amusement) -I huff and swing away from him on the computer chair that I'm sitting on and face his desk.  
Just like the first time I was in here his desk is covered in drawings. I recognise one or two drawings of Asgard from Loki and Thor's descriptions. I see one drawing of a beautiful woman. She is tall and has long dark hair and dark eyes and she's dressed all in gold. I frown, showing it to him.  
"Who's this?" I ask and he looks up at me.  
"why?" he asks, clearly amused "Are you jealous?"  
"No." I reply.  
_'Yes'___my inner voice corrects me and I shush it mentally.  
"That's my mother." Loki tells me and I inwardly slap myself for being so unreasonably jealous for such a silly reason.  
"Your mother?" I repeat and Loki nods, clearly amused. I'll never be able to trick him, will I? "She's very beautiful." I change the subject quickly and Loki nods again in agreement. I see genuine pride cross his expression.  
"She is." He tells me "Inside as well as outwardly. Besides…" He says "I only draw beautiful women."  
I roll my eyes at his arrogance before turning back to the desk and continuing my investigation through his possessions, stopping suddenly in shock.  
"It's me…" I whisper in disbelief and though I only spoke quietly Loki mumbles a confirmation quietly.  
The picture is very well drawn. It's of me when my hair was still short during the battle where I was fighting Loki. There's a cut above my eyebrow and I have a thick lip and the coming of a bruise on my face – I shudder remembering the full extent of my injuries after that fight – but Loki has made me look beautiful. He's brought out the red in my windswept hair and the colour of my eyes and made them look like the most prominent features on my face. Even though I'm frowning in the picture you can practically see the adrenaline pumping through me and the exhilaration in my eyes.  
"Like I said." I jump – I hadn't heard him get up from the bed and stand behind me. "I only draw beautiful women."

I turn and smile at him but he only smiles back briefly. I'm momentarily hurt - is he angry with me? - before I catch the expression of sadness on his face as he gazes at the picture of his mother.

"Come on." I take his hand and pull him from the room.

"Where are we going?" Loki asks, surprised at the sudden change of events. "Natasha, it's late."

He's right, I realise, glancing out the window as I press the button for the lift. I glance at my watch quickly - its 2am. Loki hasn't really wanted to sleep since his nightmare - though he did fall asleep once or twice reading. Watching him sleep, snoring softly, glasses askew was definitely a picture moment for me - that is until the flash from my camera woke him up...He was very amused by the whole thing. I, on the other hand, was merly embarrassed by the entire ordeal.

"We are going to cheer you up." I tell him, deciding that it was better that we were going out so late. At least now he wouldn't be so nervous by the crowd - the crowd tonight will be mostly drunken idiots too intoxicated to notice us.

It's freezing outside and I wrap my jacket around me tightly. Loki notices this and just like when we went out for dinner he wraps his arms around me. And even though since then his hands have touched every single secret part of me, this guesture alone still makes me grin.

"You're blushing again." Loki smirks.

God Damn It!

Before I know it we're walking through the park. It's not very big or famous, it's just a small park near Stark Tower with a lake barely bigger than a paddling pool in the middle. I sit down on the bench next to the lake.

"This is one of my favorite places, you know." Loki sits down beside me and I frown at him.

"Since you've been here the only place you've been is that restaurant." I point out and grin as I see his shoulder shake as he chuckles.

"I can see it from my room." He tells me. "When I wanted to take over, I recall standing at the top of Stark Tower watching events unfolding and my eyes continued to be drawn back to this lake. It seems familiar somehow and now that I am here I know why; Its very similar to the palace gardens back home."

There is is again. That sad smile that tells me everything; how much he misses Thor, how much he longs for Asgard and how worried he is because Thor hasn't returned yet.

"You miss them, don't you?" I ask him quietly and he looks at me for elaboration. "Your parents."

"Yes." He answers after a pause. "My mother...she always looked after me. Thor was always on Odin's knee, it used to drive me insane with fury. But my mother would always know exactly what to say to make me feel better." I smile at the image of Loki as a young child sitting with his mother.

"You miss Odin too don't you?" I ask and again he smiles.

"Yes." He replies "Which surprises me in all honesty. This time apart has helped me to understand my father's point of view."

I grin at him and he looks at me in a strange way.

"What?" He narrows his eyes suspiciously "Why are you looking at me in that way?"

"You called him your father." I point out "It's the first time I've heard that."

"Yes." Loki looks astonished "I suppose I did. He truly is my father." He looks away, a worried frown on his pale face.  
"Why are you so worried?" I ask. "I don't understand. You seem pretty certain that everything that's been going on is just your powers coming back. Why does that worry you?"

Loki is quiet for so long I assume he isn't going to reply at all. Then he takes my hand and holds it, palm up and starts tracing shapes with his long fingers.

"My father is very powerful." He tells me "When he took away Thor's powers, my brother didn't get them back until he proved that he was worthy – and when he did they all came back at once and he was stronger than ever. But this...this is different. My powers are returning in bits, which in itself is unusual, without considering that unlike Thor I haven't done anything to prove myself. And in all honesty, I'm not sure that proving myself worthy will help. I do not think my father allowed that to be in the terms of sentence."

I take a moment to process everything he's just said and try to understand how that answers my question.

"So you're worried that your powers are returning because it might mean that something's wrong with your father?" I say slowly and Loki nods in confirmation, his fingers linking with mine. I squeeze his hand reassuringly.

"Look, Thor will find out what's going on." I tell him "Try not to think about it, there's nothing you can do until he comes back." I lean forward to kiss him on the cheek but he turns suddenly so that my kiss lands on his soft lips. I smile and lean into the kiss, losing track of anything other than Loki and the kiss...

When we finally break apart I'm sitting on Loki's lap and we're both breathing hard. He smirks at me and kisses me on the forehead and I smile softly.

"Do you miss it?" He asks me suddenly after a moment of silence and I look at him enquiringly. "Dancing."

"All the time." I answer truthfully, a little sad. Loki looks at me inquisitively for a moment before patting my leg, gesturing for me to stand, which I do in curiosity.

I watch as Loki walks towards the small pond and places his hands just above the water.

"Can you skate?" He asks and I nod, frowning in confusion.

"I can" I reply "Why-"

My sentence is cut short by pure amazement as the pond freezes slowly, ice spreading out over the water until the entire body of water is white and sparkling underneath the stars and the city lights.

"Come here" Loki holds his hand out to me and I take it, gasping in surprise as he lifts me up into his arms and steps out onto the ice. I laugh as he holds me bridal style and moves slowly across the pond and I glance down at his feet to see that there are blades on the bottom of his shoes made from ice. I grin as Loki does the same to my shoes.

"Is that going to melt?" I ask, taking full advantage of being in his arms to wrap my arms around my neck and kissing him gently on the cheek. "Because I really like these shoes."

"They will melt" he laughs at me and puts me down, holding me up so that I don't slip. Taking my hand he leads me across the ice and pulls me close to him, placing his hand on my waist and taking my hand in his other.

"Dance with me." He requests and I blush.

"Anytime" I laugh.

I'm not sure how long we stay there, arms around each other, dancing slowly on the ice. All I know is that the first sight the sun sees when it rises is me looking up into Loki's emerald eyes and grinning as he leans down and kisses me softly.

And I know no matter what happens, as long as we feel this way we'll be okay. I hope.

**A/N**

**Hi guys! **

**Once again I must apologise for the delay. I didn't realise how difficult writing two fanfics at the same time would be – NEVER AGAIN. Thanks to all my reviewers who are encouraging and motivating me to get writing! You guys have no idea how much it means every time I see that little note in my inbox telling me I have a review :)**

**Next chapter: Thor's return.**

**Keep reading! 3 **


	20. Bombshells and Jealousy

Chapter Twenty

Loki and I walk back to Stark tower, his arm around my shoulder. We're both exhausted from being up all night and neither of us can actually remember the last time we had a decent night's sleep, but we're happy and that's what counts. Nothing can ruin this moment for me.  
"Thor's back!" Steve practically yelps at us as the elevator doors open at our floor. Loki and I both look at each other, his expression relieved and scared of what news Thor has brought and mine blank as an assassins always should be (even if inside I'm a snake pit of nerves). We take off after Steve, not quite running but not walking either towards the communal room where all the rest of the team have been waiting for us, Thor standing tall and tired in the centre.  
"Brother!" Thor declares at the sight of us and marches forward, engulfing Loki in a muscular hug. I smirk at the expression of obvious embarrassment on Loki's pale face, but the grin is quickly wiped from my lips as I realise for the first time since our unsuccessful 'date', Clint has joined us. My heart leaps as I struggle to keep my expression void of emotion and I nod politely at Clint.  
'Talk to me' I practically scream at him in my head 'hug me and tell me that no matter what Thor's about to say that the man I love will be okay'.  
Clint stares at me for a second longer before turning away with an expression that if directed towards anyone else I would be proud of.  
"What news from Asgard, brother?" Loki asks. His accent and way of speaking is so much more prominent around his brother where as when he's with me he's started using more casual language - although he still hasn't forgiven me for laughing when he said the word "Whatevs." one day. I've since banned him from watching tv shows involving grumpy and rebellious teenagers.  
"I bring excellent and dire news" Thor announces and the room falls silent to hear what he has to say. "First of all, the good. Our father is fine and well, brother."  
Although Loki shrugs casually at this I see a flash of relief in his emerald eyes. Thor waits for a moment and then continues after looking surprised that Loki hasn't corrected the 'Our Father' reference the way he usually does.  
"Although this is good to hear, it also means that we do not know the cause of this sudden return of magic." Thor tells us "though Odin did have several ideas."

"Tell me" Loki demands and Thor looks at him, his blue eyes bright and sharp from behind his messy blond strands. Looking at them sometimes I can't believe they ever thought they were related to begin with.

"Our father had many suggestions" Thor said with a sigh "But we have more imperative matters to discuss which requires our immediate attention."  
Loki starts to protest but Thor cuts across him. I place my hand reassuringly on his shoulder, a gesture I hope calms him and I can tell from the way his shoulder relax that it does.

"The reason my trip was so lengthy was for the reason that I was told some information from my sources in the many realms and I felt I should take some time to discover if this information was true. What I discovered was not good" Thor says slowly and we all wait in anticipation of this bad news. "The Chitauri are coming here. They are angry at Loki for leading them here which resulted in the destruction of so many of their kind. They seek vengeance on you brother, and they are coming to Earth to obtain it."

The room is silent as we each individually take in this information. Thor looks sad while Steve and Bruce just look disappointed that this peaceful time couldn't last. Tony looks like he wants a drink and Clint has a strange expression on his face which worries me. Loki just looks...blank.

"Tough luck man." Tony is the first to break the silence, patting Loki on the shoulder with a sigh as he walks over to the bar. He pulls out two glasses, fills them with whiskey, drinks one quickly and then refills the glass before walking over and handing one to Loki. Loki takes it in silence but doesn't drink it.

"I don't see what the problem is." I jump as Clint's voice rings out loudly in the quiet room. Everyone turns to look at him in curiosity. "Why don't we just give him to them?"

Loki flinches and turns towards Clint angrily but Thor places a hand on his brothers shoulder and prevents him from doing something he'll regret. I look at Clint - my once best friend - in disgust and looking around I see I'm not the only one.

"Don't look at me like that guys." Clint backs off a little, raising his hands in the air in mock-surrender. "Just think about it. He's not one of us. He's not an Avenger; Hell, he isn't even human!-" Thor growls under his breath in warning at that comment but Clint continues regardless. "We just give the Chitauri what they want and they leave the Earth alone. No biggie."

"No biggie?" Bruce starts to protest but the sigh of my hand connecting with Clint's face stops him in shock. Clint grunts and falls to the floor, partly in surprise and partly in pain - more of the latter I hope in my anger.

"How dare you?" I whisper dangerously in the voice that has made hundreds of the worlds most dangerous men quiver. I want to say more but Steve rests his hand on my shoulder and I turn away, deciding he's not worth the explanation. If it had been anyone but Clint this wouldn't have hurt so much.

Loki still hasn't said a word. He looks at me, his face terrifyingly expressionless before he turns and leaves the room. Glancing back apologetically at everyone - other than Clint still on the floor, I can't even look at him right now - I walk briskly after my dark haired god.

He doesn't walk far, just to his room where he stands by the window looking out at the world below. I shut the door quietly and stand beside him, gazing down at the view. It's early morning now and the world seems too bright. I smile at the sight of the small part with the melting pond that we were dancing on less than 2 hours ago. Already I miss that. Sighing, I turn to look at Loki but he won't look at me.

"Talk to me?" I ask, trying to take his hand but he pulls away and walks to the other side of the room.

'It's okay Natasha' I tell myself, trying not to feel embarrassed or rejected 'he's just upset'.

"What is going on with you and the Captain?" Loki spits suddenly and my head snaps up to look at him in surprise. This I did not expect.

"What?" I frown, confused. "Steve?"

"Steve." Loki sneers, his green eyes angry. "Do you have feelings for Steve?"

"What?" I gasp "Loki, no. That's ridiculous."

"Is it?" He snaps, silencing me - although in all honesty I'm too surprised to think of what to say. How strange, I'm usually so good at predicting people. I hear a strange cracking noise and I turn to see ice spreading across the window. I'm about to ask Loki about this but he continues his speech. "The way you behave around him is despicable. Throwing yourself at him the night everything froze, draping yourself over his body while waiting for me to wake up, running after him when I was awake, and now today you calmed at his touch."

"Loki, it was just a hug!" I protest. I'm so angry - at Clint and at Loki - it takes me a few seconds to register the strange blue tint to Loki's pale skin and I think I see a gleam of red in his eye which seems so unusual I assume I imagined it. "Steve is my friend, I was upset and he hugged me to make me feel better. There's nothing wrong with that-"

"You are mine." Loki shouts at me, strange shapes appearing on his cheeks in that same blue colour.

"I'm your girlfriend" I should back "That doesn't make me yours!"

"He should not be touching you!" Loki yells and with an almighty crash the window behind us smashes and a strong, icy wind blows into the room. I cry out in pain as a million shards of glass crash down on me and I fall to the floor.

**A/N**

**Hey guys, sorry for the lateness of this. I can't guarantee there'll be much updating over the next few weeks because I've gone through a massive break up and don't honestly feel very romantic at the minute…On the other hand I'm looking for something to distract myself and this story could just be that something! Either way, expect either a lot of updating or very little for that reason.**

**Anyway, what did you think? Bit of a short chapter but very important to the story. Nice dramatic ending there, hope you liked it? Can anyone guess what's going on? I think I've made it reasonably obvious – I'm not exactly subtle…**

**What did you think? How do you feel about Clint? Love him/hate him – review and let me know? And what about Loki being all nasty-MrJealous?**

**Let me know ^^**

Next chapter: We find out what's wrong with Loki, more Clint-nastyness and will Natasha forgive Loki?

**R&R**


	21. Cuts and Kisses

A soft bleeping sound rings out through the room - the first thing I hear when I start to wake. Other things slowly come into focus around me - I can hear voices. Familiar voices.  
"We can't just sit by and let him get away with this!" A voice shouts out angrily. Clint. Even in my fatigued state I feel sadness and anger at the sound of his voice.  
"We have him locked up, there is nothing more we can do until Natasha wakes up." Says another voice which rings with morality. Steve. "It's her decision."  
"Cap's right, Clint." Someone agrees with Steve, though I can't quite place the voice. "Even if I personally would have loved to have thrown him out of the window...call it revenge."  
Ahh, of course. Tony.  
"Guys." Comes a calmer voice, closer to me than I expected. Bruce. "She's waking up."  
The room goes silent and although I want nothing more than to fall back asleep, I feel obligated to open my eyes.  
I'm in Bruce's lab, laying on the bed where not so long ago Loki and I sat waiting for his blood test results. The Avengers - minus Thor - are standing at the bottom of my bed looking at me expectantly. Clint has a black eye coming. I feel the urge to fidget self-consciously but I'm the black widow and I do not fidget under any circumstance.  
"Where is he?" I ask, sitting up. My voice is croaky and Bruce passes me a glass of water. I drink it quickly, sparing him a grateful glance thinking about how strange it was that such a kind hearted caring man could transform into a massive green monster if he so much as stubbed his toe.

"Loki?" Tony asked and I nodded. I heard Clint make a noise of frustration and protest but I ignored him. I'm still angry with him for what he said and I can't even look at him. "He's in Thor's room with Thor."

"Why?" I ask, confused, running my hand through my long hair.

"Thor's keeping him there." Bruce tells me and I frown at him "After what he did we weren't sure what you wanted to do - although the guys had a few ideas."

"You've locked him up?" I glare at them "Why?"

"Jesus Christ Tash!" Clint explodes "Look at what he did to you!" he grabs my arm and I wince, pulling away from him partly from pain and partly from fury.

"Don't touch me." I glare at him. I climb out of bed and walk over to the full sized mirror in the corner of the room. Admittedly, I see his point. I'm covered in cuts - some quite deep. The marks on my arms look like spiders webs but luckily enough there's only one or two scratches on my face - I must have covered my face with my hands instinctively. My clothes are almost ripped to shreds and for a moment I smirk thinking of Loki's reaction if he could see me dressed like this but the smirk disappears quickly. Loki is the one who did this to me.

"Thor's room?" I ask, my jaw clenched shut tightly. When there's no reply I turn and glare at the men and they wither under my gaze.

"Yes." Steve nods and then I'm gone. The Avengers follow behind me, Bruce calling me to go back as he needed to x-ray me to see if there was any more glass in my cuts, Steve telling me I wasn't in the right state to confront Loki now, Clint looking irritatingly happy and Tony just looking amused. I step into the elevator and they try to get in after me.

"Back off." I tell them dangerously and they do. The lift doors close leaving me alone with my reflection.

I am going to kill him, I think, wincing as I wipe blood away from a small cut on my shoulder.

Storming through the hallways I'm surprised to find Thor's door unlocked and I barge in, slamming the door behind me loudly.  
Loki jumps up gazing at me, his expression surprised and then apathetic. Blank. Nothing.

"Lady Natasha, what are you -" Thor begins but I raise my hand to silence him and he does. Who would have though a small, wounded woman could silence the God of Thunder with a simple hand gesture?

"Leave." I tell him, pointing at the door. I'm so angry I'm surprised my hair isn't alight. I gaze at Loki's face - still expressionless - and listen as the door shuts quietly. I quickly turn and lock the door and hear a loud thump as one of the Avengers runs into it. Probably Clint trying to get a good seat. But this is something I need to do alone.

"Why." I say quietly, resting my forehead against the door. I can't look at that blank unfeeling expression any more.

"Because." Loki says. I wait to see if he continues but he doesn't.

"Because?!" I turn around, glaring at him furiously. "Because isn't a reason, Odinson. Because what?"

"Because I can't do this!" Loki suddenly explodes and I push myself back against the door, eye's looking around wildly in case there's more ice.  
"Don't." Loki says quietly. He walks over and I flinch. I can take torture and I can be interrogated and not move a muscle but I can't take feeling this afraid of the man I love. Everything I do is different with him. Loki notices me flinching and stops, hands in the air in a peaceful gesture. His expression is pained and worried. "Please, don't. Do not be afraid. I won't hurt you again." He walks towards me slowly and I let him, hoping he'll pull me into his embrace and make me forget everything. He doesn't, he stops an arms length away and gazes at me cautiously.

"I am sorry." He says and I gaze at him, trying my hardest to keep my expression hard and brave. I'm not sure if I succeed. "I did not mean to hurt you, I never meant to hurt you. But I did and I can never be forgiven for that."

I gaze at him. I've already forgiven you, I want to say but I can't. Not yet.

"Natasha." He says "Something is happening to me. the Allfather told my brother that there is a chance that without my original powers, there is nothing holding the Frost Giant half of me away."

I look at him, clearly confused and he sighs.

"To summarise, I am a frost giant. that is what I was when I was born. When Odin took me in he gave me power and a part of me unconsciously used that power to drive away the Frost Giant half of me. It only ever appeared when I was in their realm or with something powerful from their realm, but that was only glimpses of my true form. Now, without the powers Odin gave me as a child there is nothing to hold the other side of me back. I am transforming into a Frost Giant - angry, cold and..." He pauses, looking down at the ground. "and dangerous."

I take a moment to process this. Loki would become this cold, angry creature and there was nothing in either of our powers to do anything about it.

"Could Odin..." I start to ask but Loki interrupts me.

"No." He says. "If the Frost Giant side of me has already taken over then Odin cannot risk giving my powers back to me."

"Oh." I say, defeated.

"Why is why I have to leave." Loki says. My neck practically breaks with the speed my head snaps up.

"What? Why?" I gasp and Loki looks at me, surprised by the suddenly emotional me.  
"The Chitauri are coming for me" Loki explains sadly "which puts you - all of you - in danger. And I have already hurt you once today because of my other side, I will not risk doing that to you again."

"Listen to me Loki." I say, my voice strong and hard. He won't look up, so gently I reach out and touch his pale face, lifting his chin softly so that his eyes meet mine. Gently I kiss his lips. "I can't speak for the others." I say "But I will speak for myself. We will find a way to deal with this, or die trying. And as for the Chitauri, bring them on. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I can not - no, Will not give that up without a fight."

And suddenly Loki is kissing me hard on the lips, his mouth cold against mine.

"I don't believe it!" I hear a voice and we break the kiss and turn to see the Avengers all standing in the doorway. We were too distracted to notice Tony using JARVIS to override the lock on Thor's door. Clint stands in front of them, eyes angry. It was him who exclaimed.

"Fine. It's your life. Do what you want." He spits at us and then storms out. Steve, ever the good guy, goes after him while Thor just stares sadly at us.

"We'll leave you to your fun" Tony winks at us, shooing the guys away and closing the door. I barely have chance to turn around before Loki's lips are on mine again. He kisses my neck, the cuts on my shoulder and my arms and my body. He kisses every single cut until I can't feel even the smallest amount of pain and only then does he pull me into his arms and makes me his again.

Hours later I wake up to the sound of an explosion.

"Shit." I swear loudly, sitting up in bed. It's dark, I must have slept for hours. "Loki, the Chitauri..."

I stop, gazing at the space next to me. Loki isn't there.

**A/N**

**Hi guys! So sorry for the delay, you have no idea how busy I've been the past couple of weeks.**

**Anyway, to all my Twilight geeks, are you excited for Breaking Dawn part 2? And to all the twilight haters; How glad are you that it's finally over?!**

**Next chapter; Where is Loki? Walking into the fight.**

**Let me know what you'all thought!**

**Much love :)**


	22. Flying Swans and Jumping Spiders

A loud explosion wakes me. Sitting bolt upright in bed I reach for my clothes and my gun - always on my person - quickly.  
"Loki, something's happening-" I start to say and then stop as I realise that the space next to me is empty. I am alone.  
"Loki?" I call out, frowning in worry. There's no chance in hell that someone could have crept in here and taken Loki away against his will without me noticing. Not a chance, which means he must have left on his own accord. But why?  
I hear shouts in the corridors and I quickly button up my shirt and march towards the door. One thing Natasha Romanoff does not like is not knowing what's going on. Time to get some answers.  
I pull the door open quickly and aim my gun out into the corridor. For just a second both I and the creature before me freezes - it in surprise, me in recognition - and then I pull the trigger and blow it's brains (I assume) across the wall.  
The Chitauri. I grimace, lips pressed tight against each other. They're here which means I'm not the only one looking for Loki any more.  
With that thought ringing through my mind, I turn left and run. I will find him first. I check all the rooms as I pass, shooting and killing aliens as I run with barely a seconds thought. It's an automatic reaction and even with the horror around me and the terror I feel in my heart, there is adrenaline pumping through my veins and a familiar ache to my muscles. I grin - No matter how much I'd rather not be in this situation, I have missed this.  
I hear a familiar noise to my right and I duck and roll towards it just as an arrow shoots through the space where my head was a second ago and hits a Chitauri that was right behind me in the eye. I kneel behind Clint who shoots quickly in every direction while I reload and then I stand; my back pressed up against his and I shoot three oncoming creatures before they blast us into heaven or hell or wherever we're destined to go. I nudge Clint's right arm with my elbow – one of many gestures in a code we perfected years ago - and we both turn quickly. I crouch down and shoot the Chitauri behind Clint, my face pressed up against his stomach and my arms either side of his waist while Clint shoots explosive arrows over my head, clearing the way towards the communal area. We move slowly in that direction, both of us assuming that's where we'll find the other Avengers - and hopefully, Loki.  
We reach the communal area quicker than expected, Clint's arrows having done their duty and demolished any Chitauri in his aim. What used to be the area we sat and watched films every week is gone, now just a long fall down. At a strange and familiar whizzing noise, I pull Clint down to the ground. Steve's shield barely misses Clint's head but successfully bounces off one of the Chitauri and knocks another over the side of the building. There's a blast and the rest of the window smashes as Tony makes his typical grand entrance.  
"Why my house, eh?" I hear him shout as he blasts Chitauri off the side of the building. "I don't come to your world and blow up your house! Oh, wait..."  
There's barely a second to laugh at his comment before a Chitauri lunges at me. I drop to the floor and sweep its legs out from underneath it before standing up and shooting it twice in the head.  
"Where the hell is Loki?!" I groan.  
"Gone with the Chitauri" Steve grimaces in reply.  
"How do you know that?" I gasp, still shooting with perfect aim regardless of my shock. I don't believe it. I won't.  
"Well they're here and he isn't." Steve looks at me, his blue eyes hard. "This wasn't an attack Natasha. This was a rescue mission."  
Before I have chance to process this Tony accidently blasts a Chitauri into me and we both stumble backwards towards the hole in the floor. For a brief second I gaze down and I know that there's nothing I can do to stop myself falling but then a blue gloved hand appears out of nowhere and I grasp it, pulling myself back from the edge and using one the Chitauri battling with Clint to both push me back on my feet and kick it off the side at the same time. I nod my thanks to Steve who salutes - ever the gentleman - before diving back into the battle.  
From outside I can see that Tony is preoccupied blasting hundreds of Chitauri from the roof of Stark Tower. Dull thuds from above suggest that the hammer-happy Thor is up there too. For a brief second I hope Loki's with them but no matter how much I don't want to believe it, what Steve said makes sense. It's the only explanation.

Anger boils up inside me. Time to kill some aliens.  
It looks like Thor and Tony need help and Steve and Clint seem alright here on their own. I need to get up to the roof to help them but how can I get up there? It's not like I can just take the lift.  
A loud roar answers my unspoken question. The Hulk clings to the side of Stark tower like King Kong, pulling Chitauri out of the air one by one and crushing them or smashing them into the side of the building. Thank God they didn't bring any of those giant flying…things like they did last time otherwise what I'm about to do would probably not be possible.

"Bruce!" I shout, eyes carefully plotting a pattern in the Chitauri's flight. "Hulk! I need a boost!"  
The Hulk answers my plea with a roar and I take a deep breath. Ignoring Clint and Steve's brief yells of protest when they realise what I'm about to do, I take a running jump off the side of the building. For a second I'm soaring, my mind reliving the time on stage where I would dance and my partner would lift me and I felt like I was flying, truly a swan, and then my breath is blown out of me as a strong green hand catches me.  
"Wait!" I tell the Hulk who seems content with holding me in his giant hand and roaring angrily at the creatures that fly around his head like flies. My green eyes scrutinise the air above me quickly. "Now!" I yell and the Hulk throws me up into the air. For a second I can't breathe as I go up and up - this is what it must feel like to be Tony - and then I start to fall. I had timed it perfectly, landing on one of the Chitauri's flying machines. In its surprise it only takes me 3 seconds to disarm and throw the creature off the machine and then my hands are on the controls and I'm flying up above the roof, using the Chitauri's own weapons against them and blasting them away from Thor.  
I gasp in surprise as something heavy lands behind me and then freeze as I feel the cold end of a Chitauri gun pressed against my back. Gritting my teeth and pressing my knees against the side of the machine hard I let out a yell as I quickly turn the handle so the machine spins round quickly and I hold on for my life, trying not to get thrown off while at the same time trying to elbow the Chitauri behind me loose. I grin in success when I feel the gun move away from my back and I steady the machine. I grimace however when I feel a cold metal blade pressed against my neck and realise that the Chitauri didn't fall off as I had assumed, it had merely dropped its weapon.  
"Goddamn it Natasha." I scold myself internally "Just because they dropped their gun that doesn't mean they're not dangerous. It's the first rule of being an agent!"  
I cry out in pain however as suddenly I'm surrounded by white and blue lightning. I feel like my insides are being roasted and I can't contain a scream of agony as I slump forward. I feel the knife at my throat fall away and I feel rather than see the thing that held it fall away. As suddenly as it came, the lightning disappears. I struggle to open my eyes and I'm filled with panic when I see I'm about to hit the roof of Stark Tower. It's too late to stop, so tensing my knees I wait for the right moment and then I dive through the air.  
If I hadn't just been electrocuted I could have rolled and landed on my feet but with my muscles spasming the way there were I hit the roof with a loud thud and rolled away from the blast the machine made when it hit, groaning as my body connects with a wall hard. I start to sit up and see if I'm in danger or if anyone else is but it sounds like the Chitauri have left - everything is quiet. Besides, my head is spinning so I just lay there for a few minutes, catching my breath.  
"Natasha!" I hear a gasp and I open my eyes to see Thor kneeling beside me.  
"Hey Thor." I groan my voice croaky. I try to stand but I'm still spasming too badly to do that. The best I can manage is to sit up against the wall. "Thor, tell me the truth." I cough; surprised smoke doesn't come out of my mouth like it does in the cartoons. "How's my hair?"  
"Striking as always my lady" Thor booms, his voice worried "But now is not the time to discuss hair! I must apologise Natasha, I did not mean to injure you."  
"Oh right." I say, connecting the dots. Of course the lightning was from Thor.  
"I had no choice! That creature was about to execute you and I had to subject you to the lightning in order to slay it."  
"I understand Thor." I say, patting his shoulder weakly "its fine."  
"No it is not!" Thor shouts, eyes worried "I will devote forever to making this up to you Lady Natasha. I will your eternal slave."  
"Right." I say, eyebrows raised. "Thor, where's Loki?"  
"My brother?" Thor frowns "Is he not with you?"  
I shake my head and Thor's eyes darken.  
"Sorry to break up the party" there's a loud thud of metal against concrete as Tony lands beside us and slumps to the floor. "You two ok?"  
"We're okay." I reply, shooting Thor a look ordering him not to say anything about my injuries.  
"No sign of Loki?" He asks us and I shake my head. "JARVIS, is Loki in the building?" he asks seemingly no one.  
"No sir. Some of my data has been damaged and my accounts are not accurate but my sensors are telling me that his presence was not detected in the building from the time the attack began sir." the electronic butler replies.  
"Explain this nonsense." Thor demands, looking around for the origin of the voice, still not quite used to JARVIS.  
"It means that he left when the Chitauri arrived." Tony clarified.  
"The Chitauri must have taken him against his will!" Thor explodes, standing quickly, blond hair and cape blowing behind him "We must rescue him!"  
"Apologies for the interruption Sir, but I am afraid there was no sign of a struggle." JARVIS interrupts and my shoulders slump.  
"But that means..." Thor start but I cut across him.  
"That means that Loki left of his own accord." I spit out "It means he meant willingly. It means he betrayed us."  
I tense as I hear footsteps across the roof but it's just Clint and Steve heading from the staircase. Judging by the sorry expression on Steve's face and the attempt-at-hiding-smugness on Clint's, they overheard what's happened.  
"So what do we do now?" Clint asks, sitting beside me and taking my hand, just like he used too before. And I let him because I don't have the energy - mentally or physically - to move.  
"We find the Chitauri." Tony sais and we all look out at the Chitauri speeding away, watching the explosions in the distance as they start to take over Manhattan.  
"And if we find Loki?" Thor asks eyes miserable and terrified. And though I hate myself, I know the answer. I stand, shrugging off Clint's offers to help and make my face still, like stone.  
"If we find Loki, we kill him." I reply, eyes as hard as my heart must be.

**A/N**

**Hey there beautiful people! :)**

**Hope you're all well!**

**So…what did you think? Review please, and don't hate me! I'd love to know what you thought of my fighting-writing (poet and I know it ;D). I've never written a fight scene like this before so please let me know what you think, it'd be greatly appreciated. Please only constructive criticism though! Messages like "It was bad" don't really help…if you don't like it please explain why and what I could do to improve it 3  
I do have some rather terrible news for all my avid readers…if all goes to plan there are only two more chapters of Black Swan left and then it's finished. Over. :'( Makes me very sad inside although I am quite proud of it so far. So I'd love to know when it's done what you all thought of the story as a whole, favourite scenes, worst scenes and I apologise for any screw ups I've made throughout.  
Anyway, onwards to the next chapter! I hope you enjoyed and I will update again very soon my lovelies 3**

**CaffinH xxx**


	23. Busy and Bleeding

I curse in Russian as I'm forced to duck behind a pile of rubble to dodge another blast.

"Oops, sorry Red!" Tony's voice comes through my earpiece and I growl. When will these men learn to aim?! I take advantage of my hiding place and examine my wounds. My clothes are ripped to shreds, I'm covered in bruises and small cuts and grazes and I'm 90% sure that my hair is still standing on end from when Thor electrocuted me.

Still, I can't stop my eyes from scouring the debris around me for some sign of my green eyed boyfriend.

'Natasha, I think you can say that this qualifies as breaking up...' I mutter internally, flinching at the surprising pain in my heart as I think that. A brick to the side of my head is suddenly disintegrated by a Chitauri weapon and I take this to mean that my hiding place is no longer hidden. I groan and roll towards the source of the gun, placing my hands on the creature's shoulders and propelling myself into the air, snapping the Chitauri's neck as I land. I smirk - apparently killing aliens is the ideal break up passtime. I feel so much better.

Time seems to pass in a blur as I kill creature after creature, duck countless shots, fight back to back with Thor and Clint and at one point I find myself clinging onto Tony's back for dear life.

"It's about time you rode me" Tony says and I roll my eyes. I know he's smirking, even though I can't see his face.

"Shut up Stark" I can't help but grin as he drops me off near Steve and Thor. As much pain that I'm in – physically from my injuries and emotionally from what Loki has done today – I'm enjoying this. Laughing with the boys, _my _boys. There's nothing I wouldn't do for them.

I wince and duck, shooting a Chitauri taking aim at Thor as I do. Today I may have to put that promise to the test.

I crouch behind Steve to reload and his eyes quickly run over me, assessing my injuries and making sure that I'm alright. I nod at him to confirm that there's nothing serious wrong and though he looks as though he'd like to say something, he's distracted by an attack before he can. While I reload, I gaze around, surveying the scene and I'm filled with an uneasy feeling deep in the pit of my stomach.

Something isn't right.

Why are the Chitauri still here? If they meant to come here for Loki, why didn't they leave with him rather than spend the hour or so it took the Avengers to recover and prepare to send them back where they came from scouring Manhattan? What are they looking for? Is it possible that Loki escaped and that they're looking for him?

My heart fills with hope at this thought. If he felt the need to escape that means he didn't go with them willingly. It means he didn't betray us, he just ran away. And while some may consider that cowardice, sometimes running away is the bravest thing you can do.

The fact that I have yet to spot Loki whom, I assume, would be in the middle of the battle fighting us, gloating, that smirk plasters across his lips, those lips that have kissed mine a thousand times – no Natasha, don't get distracted. The point is, if he had betrayed us there is no chance in hell that he wouldn't be here to revel. And he isn't here, which means-

And then I see him. My heart drops because I know what that means. He's here which means he wants to be here. Steve was right, Clint was right, they were all right. He betrayed us. He betrayed me and I will never forgive myself for letting him do that to me.

But seeing him again breaks me. His face is pale – paler than usual. His hair long and untidy and his eyes are vibrant and green, standing out from his defined features. His lips are pressed together tightly, completing his blank expression. His clothes are ripped and dirty but he doesn't seem to be harmed. He has his sceptre in his left hand – he must have taken it before he left Stark Tower. The Chitauri ignore him completely, distracted by the Hulk who has just joined us.

'_If we find Loki, we kill him'._I remember saying the words but in that second, gazing at him, I realise that I can't.

"Loki!" I cry out against my will and I start to move towards him. He hasn't noticed me, his eyes are fixed on the leader of the Chitauri. He is slightly larger than the others, wearing stronger and clearly better armour. His position of leadership is obvious, even here on Earth.

As I move towards Loki, I turn my head to look at the Chitauri leader, my eyes ignoring the battles near me, my ears desperately trying to tune out the sounds of explosions and gunfire as I attempt to work out what is going on in my lovers mind and then suddenly the world goes silent.

I fall down onto my knees hard, crying out. I gaze at Loki, too far away to have seen or heard me. I can't hear anything and everything seems to be moving in slow motion. I see Thor shouting in my direction and I think he's yelling my name but I can't tell for definite. He and Tony are both struggling to reach me but they can't. Why are they trying so hard to get to me?

My hand is wet. I look down and my mouth forms the start of what might me a cry of pain as I notice the small sword protruding from my stomach.

'Why can't I feel it?' I think, eyes gazing down in wonder. It doesn't hurt, it's merely uncomfortable. Grabbing the end of the sword I grit my teeth and pull it out. I quickly realise that doing that was a terrible mistake as the world returns to me with a bang.

Everything speeds up again. I can hear everything, explosions, blasts from Chitauri weapons, the clang of metal against metal, body against concrete. I can hear my name being yelled and I see that Tony and Thor are still trying to reach me. They're surrounded by Chitauri who cling to Thor's arms and grab hold of Tony's legs and pull him down every time he tries to lift off. But although I see al of this, I can't pay notice to any of it.

I'm in agony. Blood is gushing from the wound and this time nothing can stop the scream of pain that bursts from my lips. I fall forwards on my hands and knees and I know that this wound is serious. This wound is fatal.

And then there are two strong hands beneath my arms, pulling me and a familiar voice calling my name, encouraging me to go on and to keep going. Struggling and trying to ignore the pain in my stomach, I push with my legs and allow the man to half-drag me to temporary safety – hiding behind a burning car.

"Are you okay Tash?" Clint asks. He puts me down on the floor and brushes my hair out of my face with fumbling, panicked hands. I glare at him.

"Yeah, I know" He laughs at my expression, though his eyes are filled with tears. "Stupid question, huh?"

I nod and groan as even this slight movement seems to hurt. Clint unbuttons my top – now is not the time to be embarrassed and winces. I close my eyes and let him rip off the bottom half of my shirt and part of his to make a home-made bandage.

"This should lessen the flow of blood." Clint tells me, his eyes wide and scared and his voice panicked. He has no idea if what he's done has helped, that much is clear. A tear rolls down his dirt caked cheek and I reach forward slowly and wipe it away. I've never seen Clint cry before. It must be bad.

But I don't have time to think about that right now. Putting it simply, I don't have time to die.

"Loki?" I ask weakly and Clint frowns. "Did you see him?"

"He's here?" Clint looks surprised and I pause. Why is he surprised? He fully expected Loki to be here. My eyes widen as I realise he's not telling me something.

"Why are you surprised Clint?" I ask – no, demand an answer.

He gazes at me, his eyes angry even with the tears still filling them.

"Even now, when you're...you're...like this" he can't quite say that I'm dying, even though we both know it. "All you think about is him?"

"I love him." I shrug and Clint gazes at me with his big blue eyes.

"You really do don't you?" he seems mystified and then his shoulder slump. "I am so sorry Natasha. I didn't realise."

"Clint." I say, my voice firm even though it hurts to speak "Tell me."

"Last night. After you two went to bed, I couldn't sleep." Clint begins and it's as if I can see the event taking place in my head. "I couldn't believe you forgave him. I went to the communal room but he was already there, looking out of the window. I walked up to him, meaning to give him a piece of my mind but the expression on his face stopped me. He looked so sad.

"Are you going to try and kill me now, Hawk?" He asked me and for a second I believed that was what he wanted. I didn't reply, I didn't know what to say. "You should, you know." He said, and his voice was so sad. "For what I did to her, I deserve to die."

I saw my chance and I took it.

"If you really think that then why are you still here?" I spat at him angrily and he looked at me in shock. "Natasha deserves better than you." I told him "she deserves someone who will protect her, rather than hurt her. She's forgiven you, but you and I both know that it's going to get worse. If by some brilliant chance you don't lead the Chitauri straight to her, you'll turn into a monster and kill her yourself. If you loved her at all, you wouldn't be here risking her life."

He was quiet for a while and then he turned and nodded at me.

"You are right." He said, and his eyes were filled with tears. He turned and walked away through the darkness, towards the elevator. He got in and he looked at me – I couldn't move.

"Look after her Clint." He said to me and then the doors closed and he was gone. I felt ashamed almost immediately.

But even then, I didn't realise you were in love with him. I thought you were being stupid, that you hadn't thought of the possibility that he might kill you. I didn't realise that you'd thought of that and decided that-"

"I'd rather him kill me than leave me." I finish for him, glaring. I want to be angry with Clint, but I know he was just doing what he thought was best for me. I see that now and I'm not angry. I just want Loki.

"Help me up." I order and though Clint starts to protest, he stops when he sees the stubborn expression on my face.

"I hate it when you get that look" He grumbles, helping me to my feet. I inhale quickly, my hand pressed against the wound to stop the blood flow. As soon as I can stand on my own I turn around and punch Clint. Hard.

"Hey!" He gasps, grabbing his arm where I hit him. "What was that for?"

"For being an ass!" I tell him and he starts to argue, then pauses and shrugs in agreement. I can't help but laugh at him and he laughs with me, stopping in worry when my laugh turns to coughing as I bend over, clutching my stomach in pain.

"Tasha, you alright?" He asks stupidly again, worry evident in his voice. I nod – I can't speak – and I stand. He pretends not to notice me wiping blood from my lips.

"Do you have to do this?" He asks as I gaze towards where I can just about see Loki in the distance. He's reached the Chitauri leader. I look at him, my expression answering his question and he nods in defeat.

"Clint." I say, placing my hand on his shoulder. "You were wrong. Loki was not the only one I was worried about out there." He looks up at me and I smile "I worry about every single one of my brothers. You included."

Clint is silent for a second before he grins a dazzling grin.

"Brother?" He laughs "I can live with that." Suddenly he envelopes me in a hug and kisses my cheek hard. I pat his back and don't push him away even though it hurts like hell. I know he needs to do this, and honestly, I need it as well.

"Love you Tash." He mumbles and I smile, tears running down my cheeks. I'm surprised – I haven't cried in years – but I don't wipe them away.

"Love you too, you ass." I feel him smirk against my cheek and I laugh, wiping the tears from my face as he lets go. He doesn't wipe his away; they fall freely down his dirt caked cheeks.

"I'll cover you." He tells me what I already knew he would do. "Go get him Tash."

I grin at him, load my gun and ignoring the blood pouring from the agonising wound in my stomach, I run.

**A/N**

**Hello everybody!**

**Hope you don't hate me for the long update and the cliffhanger I've just left here for you ;) What did you guys think of this chapter? Please review and let me know, this was my favourite chapter to write and I'm not ashamed to admit that I had little tears while writing the Clint and Natasha scene.**

**Bad news: this is the penultimate chapter which means the next chapter will be the last one in the story. I think that might be why it's taken me so long to write it – I've been writing this fiction since August and I don't want it to end! Also with it being Christmas and New Years and having work and University work to do, everything's been so stressful! Not to mentions suffering from immense writers block...but I seem to have overcome that now and hopefully I'll be writing the next chapter in the next couple of weeks so keep an eye out!**

**Cookies to everyone who reviews!**

**~CaffinH 3**


	24. Death and Smirking

The pain in my stomach is crippling but I keep running anyway. I feel light, as though I'm running faster than I ever have before but I shake my head and try to think rationally. Feeling lightheaded is not good, it means I'm losing blood. And in fact, I don't think I've ever ran this slowly before. If it wasn't for Clint this would all be over by now, but he runs with me, shooting any Chitauri that even glance in my direction.

I can't believe it's come to this. My vision starts to go blurry as I push onwards towards Loki but I grit my teeth and focus on the journey ahead. I can't give up.

My mind unwillingly starts to look back over the past few months. Who would have thought waking up from a nightmare that night so long ago would result in this – me running through an army of aliens to save my lover.

I picture his face in my head, the image of him the day he returned my iPod to me.

"_It's beautiful." He calls after me. I turn, in surprised. He's still looking at me. "The song."_

We've come so far since that day. I feel tears well up in my eyes as I pause for breath, Clint watching me cautiously. I struggle against another memory forcing its way to the front of my mind.

_I begin to dance. And for the first time in a long time, it's not merely an exercise, its fun. And I'm enjoying myself._

_That is until I fall flat on my face._

"_Very graceful, Agent Romanoff"_

_I jump about five meters into the air, spinning around quickly and drawing my gun from inside my pyjama shorts, aiming perfectly at – Loki?_

Even in my pain I can't help but giggle as I recall the expression of shock on Loki's face when I pointed my gun at him. I was so angry with him, and then the next day I felt so guilty. I remember how quickly my heart was beating when I handed him my apology-note and I scoff at how childish that was. Even then before he knew me he could still revert me to a giggling blushing schoolgirl. The next memory assaults me just as quickly as the last.

"_Thank you for the book, Agent Romanoff." He thanks me._

"_You're welcome" I tell him. "And call me Natasha. Please." He looks as though he's about to protest, but at my 'please' he stops._

"_Very well." He smiles at me "Natasha." And without warning he lifts my sort arm with his free hand and strokes the bruise lightly, before softly pressing his lips against it. I gasp, not in pain but in surprise. He smirks at me slightly and turns and walks away, leaving me standing there speechless._

After that the memories stop flowing so naturally and it's more like there are just images flashing before my eyes. The image of the satin wrapped ballet shoes and the note that came with it, signed '_Yours, Loki' _in elegant green handwriting. The offended expression on his face when I tried to return the shoes. Bringing Loki pizza and him answering the door shirtless. His silky voice rings in my ears; "_I think I can persuade you...", "I'm always right Natasha." _Thor telling me that Loki draws me.

Our first date; Loki telling me that I looked beautiful, apologising for not bringing a jacket to lend to me and stroking my arms to warm me up. His interest in the story of Swan Lake, promising to take me dancing next time we went out, kissing me on the hand and refusing to kiss my lips even though we both know he wanted too. His cold lips the first time he kissed me after my 'date' with Clint, his hands on my legs, my hands in his hair. Him watching Sherlock Holmes with me and the others, slowly becoming friends with my friends, laughing and joking with Tony, Thor, Steve and Bruce.

Him covered in ice in my bed. Making out in Bruce's lab, him admitting how worried he was about his father. Finding the picture of me that he drew – _"I only draw beautiful women"._ Dancing with him on the ice in the park when he used his powers to make it snow.

Looking up into his emerald eyes and grinning when he kissed me softly and knowing with absolute certainty that everything was going to be okay.

"Natasha you have to move!" Clint shouts at me and I blink hard, the world coming back into focus around me. I catch sight of my reflecting in a window – I'm pale, too pale. I've lost a lot of blood. Turning quickly, I see Loki in conversation with the Chitauri leader.

I don't know what is going on in Loki's mind. I don't know why he's here.

But I do know that I love him.

"Clint!" I call out and he turns to me, frowning when he sees me crumpled on the floor, pale and bleeding, my voice weak and my eyes helpless. "Clint, you have to help me."

He kneels beside me, no longer caring about the war around him.

"You don't have to do this." He tells me, eyes begging me to listen to him. "You can stop. We can find Bruce and he can patch you up." His voice wavers "You'll be fine."

"Clint." I say his name, my eyes pleading. We both know that isn't true. "Clint, please."

He looks around hopelessly and then his eyes fall on me again. His lips pressed firmly together, he pulls me to me feet and helps me get my balance.

"Are you ready?" He asks and I nod. The world seems to be going darker and shake my head, trying to focus. Clint and I both know it's too late for me, but not for Loki. I have to save him.

"Go!" Clint yells and I sprint. This time it's not my imagination persuading me that I'm running faster than I ever have before, it's true. There are explosions in front of me, blasting aliens out of my way as Clint fires his explosive arrows with true expertise. It seems like seconds before I've almost reached Loki.

Nothing can stop me from reaching him. I don't even stop when I see Loki lift his sceptre and aim at the Chitauri leader. The leader attempts to defend himself but Loki quickly overpowers him and uses a blast of blue ice from the tip of his sceptre to freeze the leader before stabbing him, shattering the ice and destroying the chief for once and for all. It wasn't a long battle, or a particularly eventful one but the affect on the Chitauri around us is undeniable as each and every one of them cry out in anger and defeat before retreating rapidly as one cowardly unit. In seconds the only sign that they were ever here is the rubble around us and the bodies of their dead.

But Loki doesn't stop there. I try not to stop either, to keep running, but I slip and fall, crying out in pain as I hit the ground. Loki hears my cry and turns, paling. I hear the other Avengers call out my name from far behind me but I can't concentrate on them right now. I know they're fine – it's Loki I need to worry about.

"Natasha?" He gasps. He starts to run towards me as I try to push myself up but then he pauses.

"I am sorry Natasha." He gazes at me, his eyes stubborn. His skin is bluer than the last time I saw him and his eyes are a strange shade of red. It doesn't take a genius to realise that he doesn't have long before the frost giant in him takes over.

"I don't know what you're planning but don't." I gaze at him, my eyes begging him to do as I say.

"Defeating the Chitauri changes nothing." Loki tells me, and I can see that in his eyes it genuinely doesn't. I try to cut across him to persuade him to listen to me but I feel so weak. There's so much pain and I just want to sleep. "I have to do this. I can't risk hurting you again Natasha."

"Loki, stop!" I cry out as he raises his sceptre and points it at himself. There's a moment of horror and I realise there is nothing I can do to stop him. There's a blast of blue ice from the tip of the sceptre as Loki freezes himself.

The last thing I see before I pass out is the blue blast of ice ricocheting off sparkling gold armour.

A soft bleeping wakes me up. I open my heavy eyes but the light is too bright and I groan, shutting them again. After a few seconds I try again but this time I do it slower, giving my eyes chance to adjust to the light.

I'm in what looks like a hospital room. Possibly Bruce's laboratory, but I'm not sure. My head hurts too much to concentrate. I'm laying on a gurney wearing a ripped black shirt and skin tight trousers which are beyond repair. My shirt is ripped up to below my chest and I gasp as I examine the clean white bandage wrapped around my stomach. I sit up slowly, feeling dizzy and I try to remember what happened.

Loki is dead.

I bury my face in my hands, my dirty red hair falling around my shoulders and I try to stop my shoulders from trembling as I cry because the shakes hurts my stomach too much. After a few minutes of this I realise that I don't just feel sad – I feel hopeless. Pointless even. And this makes me angry.

I jump off the bed and pull out the IV in my arm as well as all the other devices that are connected to me. The beeping sound that woke me turns into one long high pitched beep as I disconnect the heart monitor. I ignore it. I feel too angry - at Loki for dying, at myself, at the world for taking him. I turn and spot my gun and shoes on a table at the bottom of the bed. I have to get out of here.

Zipping up my shoes quickly I hear a commotion in the corridor and the door flings open wildly as a man runs in, stopping dead in his tracks when he sees me standing by my bed, my gun aimed at his head.

"What are you doing, her hearts stopped!" I hear Bruce's voice behind him but Bruce freezes when he sees me too.

"Get out." I tell Bruce, my gun still trained on the man in front of me's head. He hasn't moved. He just stands there, eyes wide and shocked.

"Natasha-" Bruce starts to talk but suddenly the noise from the disconnected heart monitor is unignorable so without taking my eyes off the familiar green orbs, I shoot the machine. It explodes with a crash and a few sparks but the beeping stops. Mission accomplished.

Bruce and the man both flinch and the doctor nods his head defeated and leaves the room, closing the door and leaving me alone with the man.

The room is silent for a while.

"How?" I choke out, my gun still aimed at his head.

"My father." Loki replies cautiously, his eyes gazing at mine, ignoring the gun completely.

The room is silent again.

"Explain!" I demand and Loki jumps. I don't understand what is going on.

"Odin took away my Asgardian powers because I was unworthy of them – just as he did once to Thor." Loki says quickly, now focusing on the gun. I notice my hand is quivering but there's nothing I can do to stop it so I try to ignore it. "When I tried to sacrifice myself to save you, he decided that I was worthy. I proved to him that I was capable and deserving of my powers and so he returned them to me. My armour returned with my powers and ice blasted off it leaving me unharmed."

I gaze at him, examining him for what seems like the first time in forever though it couldn't have been more than a day at the most. His skin is pale and white again, his eyes green and his hair – though dirty and messy – seems straighter. He is still wearing his asgardian armour and his cape blows out behind him, clipped to his chest with shining golden plates. Is it really him?

"That's when I saw you." Loki tells me, and his voice trembles. I stop examining him and gaze at his face in curiosity. "You were just lying there. Your hands were stretched out towards me but they were still and covered in blood and you were so pale." His face crumples and he buries his face in his hands.

Slowly I lower the gun and take a cautious step towards him.

"Loki?" I ask uncertainly. Is it really him? He looks up at me, his eyes filled with tears as he gazes at me. He seems relieved that I'm no longer aiming at him, though his eyes flicker towards the gun in my hand once or twice.

"You were laying on the ground and I ran towards you." He continues softly. I take another step towards him. "Clint reached you next, and then Thor and Steve. They were all terrified Natasha, none of them could bare the idea of losing you."

"Are they okay?" I pause, frowning.

"They're all fine." Loki smiles, a genuine smile and shakes his head fondly. "Even now you're more concerned about them than yourself. You haven't even asked if you're okay yet."

I frown. "Am I?" I ask and Loki nods, smiling.

"You're going to be fine." He tells me and I can sense the joy in his voice.

"Carry on." I ask softly – there will be time to discuss my health later - and he does.

"Tony calmed Bruce down and when he turned back from the hulk they came running over." He tells me. "All of us brought you here, Thor and I used some of our asgardian magic to assist Bruce in helping you. That was about nine hours ago now. None of us have left your bedside except just now for 10 minutes to collect some supplies. Typical stubborn you, that's when you decide to wake up." Loki smirks and my eyes widen. He smirked.

"Loki?" I gaze at him. I'm standing right in front of him now. He doesn't move to touch me, or say anything; he just looks at me worriedly. "It's you?"

He nods, smirking again.

I drop my gun and dive into his arms, kissing him hard. My hands are in his hair and his arms are on my hips and although he's surprised by my sudden attack, it doesn't take him long to get the hint and start kissing me back. He wraps his arms gently around my waist but even that hurts and I gasp in pain, breaking the kiss.

"Natasha?" Loki asks worriedly as I bend over, clutching my side and breathing slowly. "Are you okay?"

I freeze. After a moment I stand slowly and place my hand gently on his face. Loki closes his eyes, clearly enjoying the moment. "I love you." I tell him. And then I slap him.

"That is for asking a stupid question." I glare at him. Then I punch him in the chest, hard. He falls through the door and lands on the floor. Bruce stands in the room, talking to a worried looking Clint, Tony, Thor and Steve. The Avengers freeze, gazing at me in surprise as Loki hits the ground. "And that is for scaring the hell out of me." I tell him.

I gaze up at them all, my friends - my brothers - and my lover, and I smirk.

_**The End.**_

**A/N **

**Hi!**

**So it's over...I won't pretend I didn't cry my eyes out writing this entire chapter – not because it was sad (though I hope you guys that it was, that's kinda what I was going for!) but because it's an end of an era! **

**I started this story on the 2/8/2012 at 18:15 and I finished it on the 18/1/2013 at 18:49. It's been a great five months and now it's over...what do I do with my life now?!**

**I hope you all enjoyed, please review and let me know what you thought and I'll let you know if there's any more avenger stories coming your way :D**

**Thank you so much to everyone who read the story, everyone who reviewed and a special thanks to Mistaken Magic – without you and your support and encouragement, without you making me laugh every time I felt a bit down and kicking my ass every time I got writers block, I could never have carried on with the story, let alone finished it.**

**I hope everyone enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing and I love you all!**

**Lots of Loki-Love ;)**

**CaffinH**


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